Tutoring for a year was one of my goals for coming to Asia a decade ago before returning to New York to begin my career as a teacher.
I had not planned on dating, so when it happened, I was absolutely surprised. Looking back, I wish I had known what I was getting myself into, or at the very least, some tips on how to navigate Asian dating culture.
Because my experience was confined to my husband, I sought advice from two American relationship experts based in Asia, who both have a wide knowledge of international dating tips. Both men discuss their ties with their Asian partners and what they wish they knew before asking them out.
Asian dating tips you need to know right now
1. They date with the intention of marrying.
With influence from their families and separate dating culture, Asian men, on the whole, date to marriage.
My hubby was so taken with me that he didn’t just want to date me; he asked me to be his wife for the rest of the time. That was probably his declaration of love!
Asian men start thinking about marriage significantly sooner in their relationships than their Western counterparts. So, if you’re dating an Asian man, find out what you both want from the relationship so you can set expectations.
2. The majority of people are unconcerned about green cards or free English classes.
I’ve heard through secondhand sources that Asian women desire to date to improve their English or obtain a green card.
I am aware of no Asian ladies who have married Western males and returned to their homeland immediately after the wedding. That isn’t to claim that all Asian women want to leave the country. They simply appear to be more receptive to the thought of leaving.
Asian males who date Western women, on the other hand, tend to stay in Asia. Part of it stems from their responsibility to look after their elderly parents and grandparents.
It’s also easier for any of them to continue their careers here, particularly if they’re older and more respected. Although my spouse and I solely interact in English, I know of some couples that speak Asian since their romantic partner does so.
Contrary to popular belief, having free Grammar classes does not appear to be a primary goal for them when it comes to dating Foreigners, at least in my perspective.
3. They believe what their parents say.
I’ve discovered that Asian people have to take their families’ word seriously because filial piety is emphasized in school starting in first grade.
Jane’s now-husband told his son that while he was welcome to be friends with a Western woman, he was not allowed to date her.
This must have been a big disappointment for him, but love eventually triumphed. My husband’s parents are always advising us on what to do and what not to do, as well as how to properly do things and raise our children.
I attempt to listen respectfully before deciding whether or not to follow what they say.
4. They don’t mind living apart.
Like most couples, you probably met your lover while you were both in the same city, yet a substantial number of Asian couples live and work in other locations.
Work commitments, my sister-in-law and her husband spent their entire courting period and the first four years of their marriage in various cities, if not countries.
Because of this, at least half of the children I tutor only see their father once a year. The most common reaction is, “That’s simply the way it is.” Staying at home is typically less profitable than the potential to earn additional money.
When we were dating, I had no idea how widespread this is, and I got lucky and found a guy who prefers to stay near to home. He’s turned down the opportunity to go to Inner Mongolia and triple his salary both times he’s been offered it.
5. Asians are big fans of social networking sites.
Asians are huge fans of the internet, particularly social media. On Asian dating services, you can make friends or meet girls who are willing to date or marriage.
If you haven’t been living under a rock for the past 10 years, you are already familiar with Facebook. So there’s no need for me to explain what’s going on.
Asian women who want to date or marry foreign guys flock to Asian dating websites. They are the most convenient means of connecting the two worlds.
I’ve had good luck using this site to meet and date Asian men before my husband. Sometimes it’s just for a fling, and other times it’s for more. In the previous five years, the online dating industry has expanded, and it appears to be speeding up rather than slowing down.
Asia now has the largest percentage of internet users using social media sites of any continent. This is excellent news for men considering a digital device.
6. Asians are less concerned with their age.
You’ve probably heard stories about Asian women in their twenties dating American, Canadian, and European men in their forties, fifties, and sixties.
When traveling through Asia, you’ll find senior males with young ladies, sometimes as young as 10-20 years old.
You may believe “they are desperate” or “she is unattractive,” but this is not the case. I noticed beautiful girls going hand in hand with overweight and elderly guys and assumed they were wealthy, but after further investigation, I discovered a different reality.
Being a young man attracts Asian women, however, it is not a priority for an Asian woman. Girls often enjoy dating men who are significantly older than themselves, even more than dating males their age.
Most Asian ladies aren’t self-sufficient, so they look to you to lead the relationship, make decisions, and keep them safe. Providers are mature males who can pamper their women.
7. Asians are fascinated with light skin.
When it comes to dating Asians, you have a physical advantage: you are light-skinned! Assume your complexion is extremely white, which is a disadvantage in your nation because women prefer tanned males.
There you are, attempting to sunbathe whenever possible to please the ladies. What should you do instead? Of course, keep your skin white and keep an eye out for Asians!
For example, one of my Berlin friends is white, and he isn’t the whitest.
Girls go crazy about him whenever we go out to meet singles in the Philippines. White skin is a well-established indicator of beauty in Asia, dating back long before Marco Polo ever set foot on the continent.
8. They tend to be bashful and insecure.
We’ve discovered that Asian men are shy and insecure when it comes to dating Western women. Jessica recalls an Asian cab driver informing her that he couldn’t satisfy the wants of Western women in a prior relationship in a post on her blog, Speaking Of Asian.
Money is another source of uneasiness. Asian people tend to believe that Americans are wealthy and that they cannot provide for us on their meager salaries.
The modest home I grew up in is a mansion in comparison to the way my spouse grew up in the post-Cultural Revolution.
He was always on time with his payments, but when he had the chance to have his research published in some reputable publications but couldn’t afford the charge, he was hesitant to accept the money from me.
9. They are not outspoken in their relationships.
Jane claims that the men she’s dated haven’t come out and stated their intentions. They’re sluggish, and they spend a lot of time messaging and talking to indicate that they’re interested in you.
If the boys are serious about dating, physical closeness develops slowly. My husband and I didn’t touch hands until our fifth or sixth date, and we didn’t kiss until a few dates later.
Although the Asians interpret Hollywood’s image of us American ladies to suggest that we’re all “open-minded,” which is sometimes too much for them to handle.
10. Asian ladies are meek during dating.
Asian women have a reputation for being subservient and meek. Some guys believe that because they are good cooks and cleaners, they will make good wives in the future.
However, this is no longer the case, as Asian women are adopting Western role models of gender equality. So, if you’re seeking an Asian woman to settle down with, be aware that you might not get exactly what you’re looking for.
It also addresses a few additional clichés about Asian culture that you may have heard. Especially if she has spent a significant amount of time in western countries. She will most likely act in the same way as other American or European ladies.
11. Asians don’t like you guessing their ethnicity.
Don’t make any educated guesses about her ethnicity.
On a first date, don’t ask her where she’s from. It will not only come across as nasty, but it will also produce a poor first impression. And nothing is more ridiculous than associating her with some erroneous Asian culture.
Of course, it’s wonderful if you try to impress her with your knowledge of her homeland, but some guys are unaware that they have just said hello in Japanese to a girl of Asian origin who has spent her whole life in New York.
12. Asian have a strong desire to please
Asians, regardless of where they are from, treat their boyfriends with respect and tenderness.
They rarely make their own decisions or think philosophically since they have been instructed what to do their entire lives by their parents, professors, and bosses.
They fit in well with society, which in Asia is controlled by men. Your Asian girlfriend will look after you and make sure you’re comfortable. Here are a few treats:
- Massage you in exotic locations.
- Homemade cuisine is the greatest, so cook for yourself.
- Remind yourself to eat If she detects that you skip meals, she will make arrangements to purchase or prepare food for you.
- They’ll tour you around and show you about their gorgeous land.
- Choose another woman. Get her to find the third girl for you if you prefer a threesome; it’s easier than doing it yourself.
More can be added to the list, but I think you get the idea. If you learn to respect them well, they will pamper you like royalty. These are just a handful of the reasons why Asians are my absolute favorite. It’s quite clear why at this point.
Finally, at least momentarily, probably date an Asian girl for pleasure, and you may discover if they are your cup of tea… Also, make certain you’re using the ideal Asian dating site for your requirements.