Divorce happens whether there’s an excellent dispute or not. It’s very hard to move on with your life, and of course, the whole process will be tiring, making you feel overburdened, which is entirely normal.
What should you do after a divorce? This is a great concern. After a divorce, moving on to the next phase of your life may be terrifying and exciting. But it would be best to keep in mind that there might be some things you need to tidy up before settling into a post-divorce existence.
Read in to learn more about what you should do after a divorce!
Things You Should Do After A Divorce
Here are things you should do after a divorce to ensure you are on the safe side;
- Review your divorce paper again.
- Make a will
- Change your name
- Close any joint account and savings account.
- Ensure your financial order is put into effect legally.
- Plan for new parenting arrangement
- Care for yourself
- Ask for support from friends and family.
- Let it go
- Don’t rush into a new relationship.
1. Review Your Divorce Paper Again
It is in your best advantage to get a certified copy of your divorce paper after the divorce and make sure you keep it close at hand. Your divorce paper outlines the parameters for child support, child custody and visitation, the division of marital assets, and other matters.
Most of the time, your divorce lawyer will give you a copy of your agreement. However, you can still pay a charge to get more copies from the court clerk’s office if needed.
2. Make A Will
Sometimes making a will is forgotten in a bit to avoid all things legal after a divorce, but you must create a new will. Your divorce can affect your former will, necessitating the creation of a new one.
If you are already in a new, meaningful relationship, write a new will to avoid any legal disputes over your estate arising from your former will between your present partner and your ex-partner.
When you have children in both marriages, you could make an explicit will provision that covers everyone.
3. Change Your Name
Even though many women opt to retain their maiden names after marriage, it is still customary to adopt their husbands’ names. After getting divorced, you will want to revert to your maiden or original surname.
In this process, you’ll need a certified copy of your divorce paper. Or you can get a name change certificate from the clerk’s office. These two records serve as evidence for changing your name at any institution like the bank, social security office, or other places requiring you to change your name.
4. Close Any Joint Account And Savings Account
Ensure all joint accounts, including retail and credit card bills, are closed. And open a new personal account with a change of address.
After a divorce, the financial settlement ensures the funds in the joint account of both parties are shared accordingly. You should consider the following steps when dividing any joint accounts;
- Inform third parties that future invoices, paychecks, and benefits will be paid into the personal account.
- The monthly payments or debits should be made in the appropriate personal accounts.
- Any overdrafts in the joint accounts should be paid.
- All money in a joint account should be transferred to individual ones.
- Close the joint accounts permanently.
5. Ensure Your Financial Order Is Put Into Effect Legally
Ensure your financial order are legally binding; you can do this by employing a financial consent order which takes the form of a written document. This document states the settlement agreement– agreed upon by both parties after a divorce regarding the division of assets and any unpaid debt.
You should know that a consent order requires judicial approval to be binding. After issuing the financial consent order, ensure the divorce settlement terms are followed. For example;
- Property Transfer
- Selling the family house
- Maintenance
6. Plan For New Parenting Arrangement
Your divorce agreement will outline how you will split up parental responsibilities. Ensure to stick with the new arrangement in the initial months after the divorce to minimize potential disputes over the children.
Here are a few things you can do to help if you’re having trouble co-parenting:
- Get a journal where you can make brief entries on how much time the children spend with you and the other parent. This will help you keep up with any occurrences and arguments.
- Also, you can use a co-parenting app or a shared calendar for both parents to know what is happening with their kids.
It can be difficult to co-parent with a former partner, especially when you have just recently divorced and are still trying to figure yourself out. However, it would help if you always reminded yourself and your ex-spouse to create a nurturing environment for your kids.
7. Care For Yourself
No matter how long or recently you were married to your ex-spouse, it’s never easy to end the relationship with someone you loved and move on so quickly. Getting a divorce takes a lot of work, energy, and emotional stress.
But in all that, you must put yourself first and be strong physically, spiritually, and intellectually. Take care of your needs first. Eat healthy, exercise, do what makes you happy and satisfied, travel, visit friends, etc. Just do whatever can give you the strength to heal and pass through the divorce phase.
8. Ask For Support From Family And Friends
You don’t have to do it alone; ensure to seek support from family and friends; you need it during this difficult time. You can
plan a gathering, chat, or go out for food and drinks.
You might feel less lonely if you seek help from those close to you. You’ll discover that those closest to you are willing to assist you in any way they can, even if that means just giving you advice or a listening ear. Seeking support or help doesn’t mean you are weak.
9. Let It Go
Even after divorce, your ex-spouse still has a hold on you in some ways, and you both shared lots of memories (good or bad). This will take lots of work to let go.
Even if it’s difficult to forget, you must learn to let it all go.
You won’t be able to perceive the positive things in your future if you hold on to the past. If you continuously reflect on those memories, it won’t make your divorce any less real. Know your feelings, learn from them, and prepare for your next life stage. After a divorce, you can still have a great life; just let it all go.
10. Don’t Rush Into A New Relationship
Many people going through a divorce enter a new relationship too soon because they fear being alone or won’t find love again.
You need time to recover, to get over the pain, anger, and grief, gather your broken pieces and know that you haven’t failed in life.
You must learn about your mistakes from your past relationship and avoid making them in your new, healthier relationship.
This is a period of discovery. You’ve changed and will keep on changing. It’s crucial to let this transition take place.
Conclusion
After a divorce, you will experience different feelings and stages of emotions. Still, in all these, you should focus on caring for yourself the most. Focus on your physical health, eat well, and avoid turning to drugs and alcohol not get addicted to them. They can damage your body as well as your life.
Talk to people around you, communicate how you feel, accept the change and see it as a pathway to a new chapter of your life– even though it’s not easy. Finally, ensure to be strong for your kids!
Frequently Asked Questions
What Are The Five Stages Of Divorce?
Divorce often has five stages of emotional impact which are;
- Grief
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining depression
- And acceptance.
What Is The Hardest Stage Of Divorce?
The separation stage is frequently seen as the most challenging. This is the time when you decide to divorce to the actual divorce date. At this point, you feel your world has crumbled before you, also you start thinking about things like;
- Child support
- Alimony
- Asset split, and more.
How Long Does It Take To Recover From Divorce?
People may experience different stages of grief. The first six months after separation are typically the most challenging time to deal with high emotional traumas. However, it could take up to two years for the healing process.
What Should I Not Do After Divorce?
- Avoid any significant bodily changes.
- Don’t go out with your ex again.
- Never stopped going to counseling until you get past that phase.
- Avoid criticizing your spouse on social media.
- Ensure to always keep in touch with your supportive friends.
- Do not begin dating without suitable planning.
References
- https://www.divorce-online.co.uk/blog/5-things-you-should-do-after-getting-divorced/
- https://www.carlsonattorneys.com/news-and-update/post-divorce-checklist
- https://blog.lawpack.co.uk/10-things-you-must-do-after-a-divorce/
- https://www.google.com/amp/s/health.clevelandclinic.org/life-after-divorce/amp/
