Obsessional thoughts come like waves continuously and repetitively.
They grab a random thought and swing them back to thoughts of your boyfriend.
Everything reminds you of your boyfriend and it is painful.
A lot of people in this kind of situation have been asking about what they should do too, so don’t think you’re alone in this.
Have you also been asking the same question to your friends and seeking to clear your doubts?
If this sounds like you, then your search in this regard is over now.
This article has been written just for you and your like to tell you what to do when you’re obsessed with your boyfriend and the things you need to do to have a peace of your mind.
But then,
Is it normal to obsess over a boyfriend?
Read my experience to learn if being obsess over a boyfriend is normal or not.
My boyfriend of 26 years old and I have been dating for 3yrs.
Initially I wasn’t into my boyfriend as much, I was only 18 years old when I met him.
Even at some point I even cheated on him but he forgave me, he was giving me much attention and had always wanted us to spend a lot of time together.
But now, he has gotten a job and seems to have been busier this time.
Recently, I have been obsessed with my boyfriend, he’s all I think of 24/7.
I want to be with him all the time.
I am never at peace if I don’t receive his call or text because he got me used to this system of seeing him every single day for the past 3 years, he spoiled me with so much attention back then but now he got a job and he’s like – babe we’re growing up and I need to make extra money that’s why I can’t be coming every day.
I am trying to understand him but I can’t, I want him every day, this time 3 days without seeing him feels to me like a punishment.
I have looked for a solution to get my boyfriend off my mind but I couldn’t.
I started getting frustrated over what I should do to deal with my dilemma.
Guess what?
Well, I tried to meet a friend of mine who once told me about getting obsessed with her guy when they were dating, though married now just to know how she was able to sort things out.
So, you see, its normal to be obsess with a boyfriend, many people experience this in their relationships.
And my friend went ahead to explain more to me, she said.
Most time, being obsessed with your boyfriend can be hard to cope with and control.
Though being obsessed with your boyfriend is not a bad thing as some people think, it’s quite natural and can be handled if the two of you are careful, honest, and understanding to each other.
She listed below things you should do to help get ride of being obsessed with your boyfriend.
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13 things you should do if you are obsessed with your boyfriend.
She speaks so well in the area of being honest, understanding, and she also revealed to me some of the do’s and don’ts that helped her out during the time she was obsessed with her boyfriend.
Kindly check the list to learn more on how to deal with your situation.
1. Tell him how you feel about the new phase of your relationship.
2. Understand there’s a change now.
3. Control yourself.
4. Stop checking up too often on him.
5. Get busy too – Find something productive to do with your life.
6. Give him some space to do his things.
7. Be honest and love yourself.
8. Get an extra job if possible.
9. Interact and socialize more with friends.
10. Don’t act too immature or childish.
11. Try to be active and free.
12. Don’t depend on social media for solution.
13. Let a relationship coach help you.
1. Tell him how you feel about the new phase of your relationship.
Do: If you’re obsessed with your boyfriend because of the new way he acts this time, the first thing you should do is, try to make him see how you feel about the whole situation, and then get a solution to sort out things.
Don’ts: talk about this for too long because it may lead to misunderstanding between the both of you if you continue to nag about it.
2. Understand there’s a change now.
Do: To think less of your boyfriend, you should be able to, first of all, understand the reason why the both of you can’t be seeing every single day like the way it was before.
Pay attention to what he has to say and understand that you and your boyfriend are growing up now and there are things that you need to focus on so that you both can be stable to take your relationship to a different higher stage.
Don’t: spend the whole day trying to force your boyfriend for attention because this might result in a serious argument which may likely lead to a quarrel.
3. Control yourself.
Do: Keep in mind that, your relationships will pass through some different stages before it gets stable, so you should learn to control yourself about every change that will come with the processes.
Don’t: get too insecure about not seeing or receiving his text messages every time like before, rather be open-minded to yourself and get to accept the differences in your relationship now.
4. Stop checking him up too often.
Do: If you found yourself being obsessed with your boyfriend, then try to stop responding often to the negative feelings that repeatedly show up on your mind.
If possible, get busy too because if you’d been busy with yourself, you wouldn’t want to be or think about your boyfriend all the time.
You can decide on reading each other’s stories at bedtime, watch movies together online, or better still download some games to play like puzzles or choose to do other lots of fun things when less busy to avoid you being obsessed with your boyfriend.
Don’t: give your mind the chance of thinking about or checking constantly on your guy because it will rather raise the feelings of wanting him more.
5. Get busy too – Find something productive to do with your life.
Do: To help yourself get your boyfriend off your mind soon, find something productive to do with your life.
If you’re still a student concentrate more on your studies or start visiting your school library to read some meaningful books just to help get your thoughts out of your mind.
Or if you’re out of school already, what you should do is get an extra job to get engaged also, for, in this way, you wouldn’t have all the time to be obsessed with your boyfriend.
Don’t: Ever act too attached to the extent of making him see the signs, because he may become yet pompous or start making you look inferior when he discovers you can’t get him off your mind.
6. Give him some space to do his things.
Do: this is the time to maintain enough space to avoid him having a negative mindset about you.
Men value a woman that has confidence in herself and places a higher value on what he has to work out for, let him be the one to come looking for you instead, but when you act otherwise and start chasing him, he might lose the respect and love he has for you.
So in other to avoid any of these, give him some space to do his things.
Don’t: Over stalk, your boyfriend, use a smart way to follow him gently if you become obsessed with him.
Advice: Don’t try to change your mate, instead encourage, support, understand, and tolerate each other to strengthen your relationship.
7. Be honest and love yourself.
Do: when you become obsessed with your boyfriend to the extent of everything about him being cloud in your mind, at this stage, what you should do is be honest with yourself.
Determine how much space this person has occupied in your heart, and evaluate how much time you think about him often. Though sometimes it can be so hard to let this feeling die off.
But even at that, you can transfer this love to yourself, just love yourself so much that you wouldn’t have much time to think about someone else.
However, you can always protect your thoughts and feelings for someone by practicing self-care and finding new paths for a new fulfillment.
Don’t be emotionally attached to someone who is not also emotionally attached to you, because one-sided love can result in emotional pains.
8. Get an extra job if possible.
If the thoughts of him obsess your every waking moment, you are always preoccupied with all the attention he spoiled you with then, and now he doesn’t seem to have your time anymore due to his work or something that came up, you focus on nothing else but him.
Well, it’s natural to feel this way but you need to help yourself bounce back to normal by getting an extra job that will help you turn around the feelings in your mind to something else.
Don’t: force yourself on him, make sure to wait a little bit before you reply to his texts.
9. Interact and socialize more with friends.
Discuss this with some close friend you trust that can give you some decent advice or give you company, as a problem shared with the right person is half solved.
Let your friends know you are starting to get worried about your boyfriend and talk about how you want to let go.
So, try to go out more this time around to hang out with your friends probably the feeling of your boyfriend will gradually stop.
10. Don’t act too immature or childish.
Complaining too much to get attention will make your look so immature and your boyfriend could start reading meaning that you’re desperate to have him, you may never know when he lost the remaining feelings he has for you, so what you need to do right now is to respect and have confidence in yourself believing that soon everything will be well.
11. Try to be active and free.
To be obsessed with your boyfriend can frustrate and look scary sometimes, at times, it will be as if you’re losing your mind and your relationship.
As earlier stated, it’s normal you think about it, but then try to be active to notice when the feeling starts overpowering your psyche and don’t allow this nasty emotion to destroy the relationship you are trying to build.
12. Don’t depend on social media for solution.
Don’t be a stalker, learn to give your boyfriend some freedom to express himself, and support him to have a free life on social media.
And another thing you should do is, stop to monitor everything he does on social media, you both have to be open and accessible. Learn to say your mind verbally, and be free to say ‘ I’m sad and I’m missing you right now when you ought to.
And if he’s not yet paying close attention to your social media chats, it’s best to unfriend him for now, find someone that has your time and chat with just to have a rest of mind.
13. Let a relationship coach help you.
If you have tried the above tips and are still obsessed with your boyfriend, I think it will be best if you pay a visit to a professional relationship coach who could help your condition.
Some people may apt to ask what is the need for this counseling?
Well, counseling time is an opportunity to learn and understand a decent manner to relate with your boyfriend, discuss important topics, and express your curiosity about your relationship.
By attending this, you can probably get healed faster than you’d expected.
And during this process, make sure to keep your mind occupied with something serious and more important to you.
Conclusions.
The feeling of being obsessed with your boyfriend can be at times difficult to cope with since the both of you’re not physically connected anymore as you used to.
But if you can be able to learn the time difference like you should be able to tell the actual number of hours he’s always busy, fix a date with him during the weekends or holidays and understand each other, trust me you will easily get over the feeling dominating your whole life out of your mind and your relationship will indeed be better again.
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READ ALSO:
- I am Obsessed With My Boyfriend, What should I do? [Find Out]
- How to Make Your Boyfriend Obsessed With You
