Do you have any idea why your ex despises you? Are you worried about it because you haven’t done anything wrong? Is this circumstance preventing you from progressing? If that’s the case, this article can assist you. It offers ten reasons why your ex may despise you, including a few you may not have considered.
It rocked me to my core when one of my ex-boyfriends informed me he no longer loved me. I couldn’t believe this man, who had been showering me with love the night before, had suddenly lost interest in me.
I was so befuddled and hurt that I remained up late for weeks following the breakup, Googling things like “Signs your ex is faking to be over you,” “why your ex hates you so much,” and “Signs your spouse desires you back.”.
My ex-boyfriend did still love me, and when he informed me it was over, it was because he was heartbroken, upset, and experiencing a slew of other feelings that took a long time for him to understand.
People saying and doing things they don’t mean is one of the most hurtful aspects of a breakup. Exes might act in perplexing ways that are difficult to decipher. If your ex wants you back, he won’t make spectacular gestures but will want to make you feel like he hates you.
We’ve all had an ex-lover. Some folks have a lot of them. However, your relationship (or lack thereof) with your ex(es) is unique to you and varies from person to person. Perhaps you still communicate with your college ex, but the very thought of your most recent ex enrages you to no end. Alternatively, you may be co-parenting with your ex-spouse while still grieving the loss of that relationship.
Whether a relationship lasted twenty years or twenty days, the pain of a painful breakup can leave a deep scar. Hatred for an ex, which is usually motivated by pain and fear, can leave you bitter, angry, and emotionally trapped.
You may have even constructed a barrier around your heart that prevents you from truly feeling closeness with others. As a writer, I’ve heard tens of thousands of breakup stories, ranging from sweet to terrifying. One thing I can tell you is that breaking up is never easy, no matter what. Dealing with your emotions after the event is frequently the most difficult part.
It’s tempting to let your negative feelings grow and turn into hate because anger is a more manageable emotion for many people than hurt. Please know that you are not alone if you despise your ex. It’s vital to remember, though, that until you let go of your hatred, you won’t be able to go forward.
Our hearts will never be completely healed. Holding on to hatred is “like swallowing poison and anticipating the other person to drop dead,” as the Buddha put it. You suffer far more as a result of your hatred than others do as a result of theirs.
You are giving someone your time and attention when you harbor hatred for them. You’re raising their position and giving them great mental real space. You most certainly have unresolved issues with them from a clinical aspect as well.
Why does my ex-boyfriend hate me so much?
1. He has strong feelings for you.
The more severe his emotional reaction to your separation is, whether it’s love, hate, or terrible deep despair, the more probable love is lurking beneath the surface.
Affection and loathing are two sides of the same coin. Too many people claim that after their separation, their ex was outrageously angry at them, but then unexpectedly confessed they were still in love.
Wrath is a challenging emotion because it often conceals pain. If your ex gets enraged, it doesn’t always mean he despises you. Real disinterest is the polar opposite of love.
2. You were obnoxious.
If you were sexually, psychologically, or socially violent to your ex, there’s a strong possibility he won’t speak to you again. You’ve injured him in some manner, and he’s realized that his behavior was inappropriate; to move on, he’s determined that it’s better to avoid you. That’s why he might be ignoring you or pretending to despise you.
3. You took something from your ex boyfriend.
What claim do they make that you have of theirs? Was there anything you bought together that they believe they should keep? Did you keep any of their belongings?
There’s a significant chance they’re just upset and want their property back; not because they really want it, but merely to have something to be pissed about. After all, you know they’ve never worn your favorite t-shirt.
4. You moved on very quickly.
Did you move in with a new boyfriend after a bad marriage in less than a fortnight? That’ll make you suspect. It may have been a hastily formed relationship, but your ex believes you were cheating! If you’ve already found someone significant in your life, you might have ruined your ex’s chances of getting back together with you.
See also: How To Get Over A Breakup Fast
5. He continues to explain your separation.
Is he in a constant state of reviewing the reasons for your breakup? Is he texting or emailing you about why he left? Is he bringing it up again and again, even when it makes no sense? Does he talk about getting back together or “joke” about it?. All of this “closure” means he’s still trying to figure things out in his head. The fact that he feels compelled to continue talking about it indicates that you are still on his mind hence it is more than enough to piss him off.
6. You ignored them when they were in need.
Perhaps you had been in the middle of a No Contact phase or just wanted some distance, or maybe you didn’t care and were annoyed when he called you. But did you have any idea what he was looking for? It might be something only you could have done, maybe a family member died, maybe he lost his job. He might already despise you if you weren’t there.
7. You’ve got them in a lot of trouble.
Did you share nasty little secrets with their supervisor or coworkers that you knew would get them in trouble at work? Or, worse yet, did you notify his church about his pornography collection or, even worse, did you inform the authorities about his secret? Yeah, it seemed so reasonable at the time, didn’t it? You were enraged and unconcerned, but they now most likely despise you for what you made them go through.
8. You slandered them.
Did you reveal all of your ex’s shortcomings in front of a large group of people on media platforms, or did you inform his friends and family about his dirty secrets? “My ex hates me, so what does it matter if I get back at him this way?” you may have reasoned. You did it, and now you know why he undoubtedly despises you as well. You publicly slammed him; people don’t typically forgive that easily.
9. You seized all of your mutual acquaintances.
When a relationship ends, mutual friends frequently part ways in one manner or another.
Even if something isn’t your fault, your ex can nonetheless hold you accountable. Your ex is probably enraged that those individuals selected you over him, but it wasn’t your mistake. It’s simple to make you the victim if he wants someone to blame or accuse you of his wrongdoings.
10. You said things that were injurious to others.
During fights, tempers flare, especially if the fight results in a breakup. Do you recall anything you said to your ex that was painful to him? He’s most likely to. Some things are simply inexcusable once they’ve been uttered. You may have even regretted, but there are instances when you know exactly what to say and what a low blow is, yet you still go ahead and say it anyway.
11. They were dumped by you.
Although you may have had good reasons for quitting the relationship, your ex may perceive it as treachery and injustice. After all, weren’t you and your partner in a long-term relationship? Why did you have to go before you and your partner could figure things out? At the very least, that’s what he’s thinking about. He may be in a lot of pain, and hating you is the best way for him to cope.
12. You betrayed them.
It’s difficult to overlook this pain. Cheating is considered heinous by some individuals, regardless of the circumstances. Maybe you were “on a break” like in Friends, but as you may recall, it’s a toss-up as to who is correct under those constraints. Were you dating someone at the time?
It’s All Right
When your ex’s feelings for you fade, your life does not come to an end. There are numerous reasons to continue living. Do not dwell on your setback. Rather, be grateful for the blessings you have and appreciate the individuals who continue to support you.
I understand that focusing on the positive can be tough, but I promise that doing so will help you overcome your sorrow. If you still feel offended and loathe in your heart, I strongly advise you to seek therapy from a good psychologist; you do not have to go through this alone. There’s always more recovery to be done, and I hope you make sure to take care of yourself along the way.