How to Fix an Unhappy Marriage [12 Vital Steps]

Fix an Unhappy Marriage

No marriage or relationship is perfect or without shortcomings.

There are times when things end up disconnecting, we hurt each other, or life gets in the way.

Even though every married couple aims to be happy and enjoy their partner till old age.

Sometimes, some marriages face difficult times.

Although It’s normal to experience conflicts in your marriage, when you have a series of unresolved conflicts or you find yourself more unhappy than happy over some time in your marriage, then you need to worry about that.

However, what makes you strong after those times is how you’re able to stand firm to reconnect or fix the situation?

Do you feel frustrated or disturbed by the state of your marriage and seek how to fix an unhappy marriage to avoid separation?

If yes, then, this post is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspect of being married.

So stay engaged as you learn more.

What is unhappy marriage?

Marriage is the union of a man and a woman who has agreed to spend the rest of their lives together in love and happiness.

But unhappy marriage happened when the parties involved no longer feel happy being in that marriage, it could be because of misunderstanding, betrayal, and lots more.

In other words, if your marriage has become like a burden to you that you have to carry all day, then you have to acknowledge that you are in an unhappy marriage.

And If you don’t make any move to fix it fast, it may lead to the stage of separation.

Hence to help you avoid that happening to your marriage, we’ve made out this list below to show you strategies on how to fix an unhappy marriage.

12 vital strategies to help you fix an unhappy marriage.

  1. Acknowledge the problem exists.
  2. Know why you’re unhappy
  3. Discuss and stay connected to each other.
  4. Build healthy communication.
  5. Compliment and appreciate your partner.
  6. Be free to plan together.
  7. Make forgiveness a priority.
  8. Avoid hurtful behaviors.
  9. Be honest and responsible.
  10. Respect one another.
  11. Don’t deny your partner sex.
  12. Plan to visit a marriage coach.

1. Acknowledge it exists.

The first step to tackling and fixing any problem in your marriage is to first accept that such a thing exists.

When you acknowledge the fact that you’re no longer happy in your marriage, then you’re just a step into fixing it.

2. Know why you’re unhappy.

Many couples could be unhappy in marriage and wonder what to do about it, one of the great ways to fix an unhappy marriage is to know why you’re unhappy in your marriage.

You have to check out the things that lead to being unhappy, check at your behaviors, and find out if your marriage is lacking some ingredients, and if you can figure out the problem, then the solution to fixing your marriage isn’t far from you.

3. Discuss and stay connected to each other.

If the state of your marriage looks shaky, and you’re thinking of a way out to get it fixed, whether the fault is from you or your partner, you should try to bring the issues up for discussion.

Know the right time to discuss this, sit him or her down and let them know what is on your mind, yet don’t do this when you’re in between a serious argument with your partner, choose your words carefully as you explain – avoid arrogant words like “you’re making me unhappy in this marriage”.

In that way, the two of you will discuss how to get your marriage back on track.

Being connected means making your marriage a preference in your lives, making sure you and your partner are always connected daily, and spending a lot of time together to rekindle the love in your relationship back, in that way it’ll help you to start being happy again.

4. Build healthy communication.

When your marriage faces hard times – not talking about it in time or not being bold to tell your partner about how you feel could worsen the situation.

According to marriage expert John Gottman, he says couples wait for an average of more years in unhappy marriages before they could speak up, which may have damaged their marriage completely.

However, if you want to fix an unhappy marriage, you need to, first of all, build healthy communication with your partner, where there won’t be a winner of arguments, no blaming, talking down on each other, or speaking In a disrespectful way to one another.

And by so doing, you will be able to fix your marriage fast.

5. Compliment and appreciate your partner.

To heal an unhappy home requires some work, not just something you will just talk about it and think that everything is fixed.

No, it doesn’t work that way.

One of the ways to fix an unhappy marriage is to always learn to compliment and appreciate each other no matter how little.

Appreciation goes a long way to fix and repair an unhappy marriage.

For example, you notice that your marriage is on the verge of unhappiness, and needs amendment, and so you try this trick on your partner  – when he or she comes back, you welcome and say “thank you for all you have been doing for me.

Believe me, he or she will be so surprised and try to do more to make sure things go well in their marriage.

So work towards appreciating each other often if you want a happy marriage.

6. Be free to plan together.

Marriage is the union of two adults and to make everyone feel comfortable and be free with each other, you should start planning things together.

Involving your spouse in everything you do in your marriage will help show them that they are valued.

You can decide to plan on how to settle bills, and have some sets rules, when you plan things out with your partner it will help you both to leave according to the family standard – no one will start requesting from his partner what they do not have, which may result to misunderstanding and quarrels.

So let the there be the privilege of oneself in your marriage, to help sort things out easily.

7. Make forgiveness a priority.

If you’re going to restore your marriage to the hope and happiness it once had, you and your partner are going to put in more work to be able to achieve your aim.

One of the things you need to do is to make forgiveness a priority in your marriage, don’t go to bed with the anger of yesterday, and make sure you settle whatever issue daily – there’s no shame in asking for forgiveness when you are wrong your partner.

Understand that everyone has flaws, so you should try to accept, and tolerate them in your marriage if you want to make your home a happy dwelling place for both of you.

8. Avoid hurtful behaviors.

Everyone craves and needs love in their marriage, but when the revised is the case then there will always be misconceptions between partners which may develop into being unhappy in marriages.

However, avoiding hurtful behavior in your marital home is the background of all your effort to fix your marriage to that happy home it used to be before.

What do I mean by that?

Don’t make him or her feel small in public, stop blaming for any little thing they do, don’t shame or look down on them, and don’t start to compare your marriage with other ones out there.

And also saying hurtful things like “you’re not a man enough or you’re a terrible woman, these negative words alone can provoke your partner and make them unhappy for the rest of the day, which can lead to fighting.

Hence, if you truly want to fix your marriage to normal, then you’ve to avoid saying hurtful words to your partner.

9. Be honest and responsible.

The easiest way to fix an unhappy marriage and make it such a happy place is, to be honest, and responsible.

How do I mean?

You should be responsible and simply talk to your partner anytime you see they are going on the wrong path.

Be bold enough to always express yourself in a calm and soft tone to make him or her understand what you mean – don’t raise your voice on them.

And when you’re being confronted too for any reason, be honest to yourself and your partner, that way, you both will start to understand each other, and love and happiness will revive back again in your marriage.

10. Respect one another.

A great way to make your marriage a happy place to live for both you and your partner is to show them respect.

Lift them, and always don’t make fun of them in front of other people’s eyes and even when alone.

So being respectful and peaceful too will make your partner feel that you love, and approve of him or her, this is an important gear shift in their heart to renew and make your marriage happier than ever.

11. Don’t deny your partner sex.

Some couples who deny their partners sex whenever there are issues in their marriages are causing more harm than good.

Know that sex is biblically endorsed and it’s meant to be enjoyed by married couples.

Having enough sex with your partner keeps your emotion strong, and it also helps to make marriage bonds stronger.

However, if you think that you’ve to pay your partner back for whatever he or she does to you by denying them sex, then you’re wrong.

Trust me, you’re disconnecting your partner from you the more and that may cause more problems than you expected.

Therefore, if you need a happy marriage you shouldn’t deny your spouse sex when there are issues in your marriage.

12. Plan to visit a marriage coach.

If you have followed all the above tips on how to fix an unhappy marriage, and it happens that you’re not getting any results yet, I think it’s time to involve or seek the advice of a professional marriage coach.

There’s no shame in seeking the guidance of an expert who has committed his or her life to helping couples save their marriages, and by so doing, it could hasten the process to fix your marriage.

Effects of an unhappy marriage.

Research done by a marriage expert has it that people in an unhappy marriage can experience some effects such as:

  • Low self-esteem.
  • Depression and anxiety.
  • Always feeling unhappy.
  • An unhappy marriage can lead to couples becoming selfish and lacking love for each other.
  • Being upset often.
  • Lack of growth in your marriage or relationship with each other.
  • People in an unhappy marriage can easily develop illnesses like emotional trauma.

More tips to fix an unhappy marriage.

Here are more things to do if you want to fix an unhappy marriage.

1. Find out what leads to these problems and then find a lasting solution to them.

2. Whenever you catch yourself thinking only about yourself, pause and review whatever is going on inside your head, think like a couple, and use “We” instead of “I”.

3. Learn to have and enjoy sex with your partner.

4. Think of doing things together, like praying and eating together.

5. Don’t be easily provoked, getting angry at any slightest mistake done by your partner affects your marriage.

6. Try to work things out in a friendly and helpful manner, you’re not in a war zone. So be peaceful with whatever you want to do.

7. Enable serious communication, communication is one of the key aspects of a good marriage, don’t let communication with your partner become off, if not, it may result in an unhappy marriage.

8. Don’t keep secrets from each other, the rock of love is trust, if you want to fix your marriage, then you shouldn’t keep secrets from your partner because having trust issues among partners will lead to an unhappy marriage.

9. Never deny your partner sex when you’re planning on how to fix an unhappy marriage so that they’ll not start to misinterpret your actions, which may result in more serious cases in your marriage.

10.  Don’t think more about “Me”, or “I” than “We”, think like a couple. One of the most important ways to build a happy home is to avoid selfishness in your marriage.

11. You should learn how to apologize when you offend your partner if you care for a happy marriage.

12. Endeavour to spend more time to get discuss like a couple, with that you can be able to recognize when conflicts come up and then find a lasting solution to tackle it In time to avoid it driving to something more severe.

In conclusion.

As a marriage grows and develops and you spend years together, your emotions evolve too.

Normally, the emotions grow stronger and the love can sometimes gradually fade, though it’s not easy to adapt to these tough times in marriage.

But, having seen the tips to fix an unhappy marriage, the effects, and some solutions to help avoid triggering the issues more, therefore you need to take your time and measures to revive the love, and joy, as well as get the lost magic back in your marriage.


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