I ruined My Marriage How Can I Fix it? [ 12 Vital Tips ]

I ruined My Marriage How Can I Fix it

Every couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together.

But the road to a blissful home is not easy to build, though the aim can be achieved.

Know that every marriage goes through its ups and downs.

Of course, there must be issues as your marriage progresses, but how you’re able to fix those difficult moments in your marriage matters a lot.

When you see happy couples, don’t wish to be like them or assume they are lucky to find each other.

Keep in mind that their happy home doesn’t just happen rather they put their hands together and work hard to build that happy home you admire.

So whenever you see any happy homes around you be sure they were built.

Are you looking for how to fix your marriage and make it a happy dwelling place?

Remember, this is not the time to abandon your marriage, you have to stand and get it fixed back.

That’s the reason, we’ve written down this amazing post just for you.

In this article, we’re going to show you how to fix your ruined marriage with some practical tips.

Stick around as we hold you by your hands and show you more.

But then, let’s answer the top question people ask about this topic.

Can a ruined marriage be fixed?

I will go straight to answer this question.

To be candid with you, the answer to this particular question is yes.

It’s possible to fix your marriage back if you’re able to follow the practical tips we have listed out to help you out below.

12 tips on how to fix a ruined marriage.

Here are some of the tips put on by an expert in marriage to help you fix a ruined marriage.

1. Identify what went wrong initially.
2. Admit your mistakes.
3. Ask for a hang-out.
4. Apologies to your partner if you hurt them.
5. Follow a peaceful way to resolve the issues.
6. Find out if he or she has moved on.
7. Build a new rapport and connection
8. Be honest and build trust back.
9. Commit to building a new relationship with your partner.
10. Gíve them time to heal.
11. Do your best but don’t lose yourself.
12. Visit a marriage counselor.

1. Identify what went wrong initially.

The first step to fixing your marriage back to its original form after you have ruined is to, first of all, know what causes or leads to the issues at first.

When you’re able to know this in time, you’re halfway to fixing your marriage.

Try to figure out everything that happened, what went wrong, and how did the whole issue start?

if you’re able to get answers to these questions, then it will be easy to find a lasting solution to help you fix your marriage back.

2. Admit your mistakes.

One thing is to find out what causes the damage in your marriage and another thing is to accept your mistakes.

Most of the marriages that crashed today are caused by the inability of partners involved to admit that they are even wrong.

So if you truly want to fix your marriage back after being ruined, you have to admit you’re wrong, and by so doing, it will be simple for you to fish out your mistakes and then do the necessary things that follow.

3. Ask for a hang-out.

If you and your partner have already given the marriage a break by staying apart from each other just to avoid more trouble raising.

And maybe you no longer have his or her contact to speak with them to make things right again.

Well, you don’t need to resolve the conflict on calls, the right way to handle this is to make necessary moves to hang out with them and sit face-to-face to discuss and iron out the issues.

And if you don’t have his or her contact anymore, you can go through your partner’s close friends to help you out.

4. Apologies to your partner if you hurt them.

This is one of the easy ways to fix your ruined marriage back to normal.

Some people find it difficult to say the words “I’m sorry please forgive me” even when they’re sure they offended their partner.

Don’t follow that selfish path.

You can initiate the journey to fix your marriage today no matter how far you have traveled in the path of bitterness, only if you can just mellow down your ego and ask for true forgiveness.

Remember the tone to tender your apologies matters a lot, don’t act arrogant, use a calm tone and everything will fall in place naturally, if not it may take longer than expected for your marriage to be fixed.

5. Follow a peaceful way to resolve the issues.

When you know you truly hurt your partner’s feelings that lead to the damage.

Understand how bad you have hurt them, and then try to follow a peaceful way to sort things out.

Keep in mind that, you don’t use violence to solve marriage issues, as it may cause more harm than good, or yet it may take ages before you could be able to fix your marriage if at all.

So to avoid anything that will prolong or worsen the situation, learn to settle things amicably with your partner.

6. Find out if he or she has moved on.

Of course, to avoid wasting your time chasing shadows, you have to make sure the person you want back has not moved on with someone else. So you don’t cause more problems for yourself or the new lover.

However, before you progress to the next stage of fixing your marriage, you need to find out if your partner is still alone or has fallen in love with a new person.

When you’re able to spot this out in time, it will enable you to know if to continue finding a way to fix your marriage or quit making the move.

7. Build a new rapport and connection.

By the time you have found out that your partner is still single or has not given his or her heart to someone else.

Then, at this point, what you should do is find a way to rapport and connect with them again.

But how can I build the rapport and connection back? You asked.

Well, nothing it’s easy, but since you’re working to fix your marriage back, ask for a hangout, when he or she agrees to go out with you, remember that this is not the right time to start pointing fingers at each other, no, don’t do that.

This is time to discuss each other’s likes and dislikes.

If possible, this time try to set up new rules in your marriage, and then listen more to your partner to know exactly what they want too.

See if it matches with yours because according to a specialist, Ph.D., Dumbroff, he says that having the same life goals is the right key to building a foundation for a new life together.

Though it may not be easy at first,  since you have decided to fix your marriage, you’ve to put in more effort to make sure things work out for you no matter how long it will take.

8. Be honest and build trust back.

During these few days of problems in your marriage, your partner may have lost trust in you.

Hence, if you’re planning to fix your marriage back with him or her, you should, first of all, try to be honest with them to help build trust back in your marriage because there’s no way your partner will accept you if they lack trust for you.

Know that trust is a two-way street, you need to have the ability to trust yourself and then, make amends for them to trust you too.

Sure, it’s not going to be so easy to build trust back after misunderstandings in marriage, but you should try your best to be trustworthy to your partner.

To build trust – you have to be honest this time, don’t lie when confronted with anything, and make sure you maintain truthfulness to be able to fix your marriage fast.

9. Commit to building a new relationship with your partner.

Another great way to fix a ruined marriage is to be committed after your partner has made a positive move toward getting back with you.

Know that at this crossroads more work is needed.

You have to commit fully to rekindle the spark of love in your new relationship with him or her.

I mean, make sure to put on more proof of why they should commit to the new relationship by avoiding those traits that lead to the past damage.

Your decent attitude right now can encourage your partner’s intention into committing back to you and also help you to fix your marriage back fast.

10. Give them enough time to heal properly.

If you want to fix your marriage after being ruined, then you have to give in more time to get things fixed.

Allow them to heal from the heart.

Know that when a person heals from the heart, it will be easier for them to truly accept your back, in the other hand, when it seems like everything was rushed, the wounds and hurts may not have healed well, and that may lead them to always remind or mention how you have hurt them in the past whenever any little issue raise in the marriage.

So, to deter this, be considerate and tolerant enough to endure any negative traits of him or her till you’re able to get what you want.

11. Do your best but don’t lose yourself.

Meanwhile, fixing a ruined marriage can be tough to do sometimes, but you have to try and push harder.

Although remember to keep your heart, don’t force things or lose yourself in the process.

Know that no matter how much one partner desires to get the home fix, it can only happen if the other partner is also willing to or agrees to rebuild the marriage back.

However, don’t force them, allow things to go naturally, and in that way, it will be easier for you to fix your marriage.

12. Visit a professional marriage therapist.

If you’ve done all you could and it seems your home is not yet the way you want it to be or that your partner is not acting positively towards the change you want despite all your efforts to put things in order.

Then, I think it’s time to seek the help of a marriage counselor.

The expert will help to draw your partner’s attention and help in fixing your marriage back to normal.

And at the verge of seeking the help of a counselor, also remember to commit your marriage to the author of marriage(God) to assist you to fix it. 

Do’s and Don’ts to fixing your marriage.

The journey to fixing a ruined marriage can be begun with the man or the woman.

This journey starts with contentment and communications.

Then it continues in daily forgiveness and mutual tolerance.

To build or fix your marriage to normal, both partners must first of all offer themselves as a living sacrifices on the altar of their marriage.

They must deny themselves and be willing to accept their cross.


  • Accept each other’s weaknesses.
  • Know that, to fix your marriage, ego and selfishness need to be buried in the grave of marital bliss.
  • Spend enough quality time together.
  • Be honest and keep communication lines open to each other.
  • Encourage, support, and inspire each other.
  • Admit when you’re wrong, tender apologizes, and forgive.
  • Respect is very essential to building a new relationship.


  • Don’t make an effort to change your partner, rather understand and tolerate them.
  • If you want to fix your marriage, don’t think only about yourself, think about the happiness of each other. 
  • Don’t listen to gossip from nonnatives, and don’t involve a third party in your marriage issues unless God or a professional marriage counselor. 
  • Don’t allow bitterness and anger to build up so much in your heart.
  • Couples in happy homes don’t try to win arguments, rather, they communicate to achieve a better union. 
  • Never compare your marriage with others, this is vital, know that every marriage faces its ups and downs, no marriage is perfect, so be happy and contented with what you have. 

Final thoughts.

Fixing a ruined marriage back to a comfortable marriage is not meant for selfish and careless partners.

Understand that success in any marriage is a choice but the price is not cheap, only the humble can buy it.

Thankfully, we have been able to answer your question – I ruined my marriage how can I fix it, and you have also learned the dos and don’ts that will help you tackle the problems in your marriage.

Good luck as you used the above tips to fix your marriage back to how and what you want it to become.


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