It is misleading to lie to your child about anything including their love life, they have puzzles about love, sex and romance they need to solve the right way.
My mother lied about love:
Yours probably could be lying to you too, hear my story.
Growing up as a little girl was fun and at the same time complex as one would have several questions to ask about being a girl child.
These bulging questions could be attended or unattended to in correlation with the type of people you have as parents or guardians.
Basically, it inclines on the fact of knowing if they’re the type that has the time for kids? Even if they do, what’s their perception about sex education, relationship and love life, do they feel free discussing it with their children?
Love is something everyone needs to live happily, and I receive enough of it from my family. But what about my relationships with others?
Unfortunately, not every parent is free discussing love life with their kids. My mother was one of them.
I spent most of my childhood days with my mother, my father was someone I could only see twice in a month that’s if I am lucky enough. He’s always on the go, working hard to make sure I have all I needed as a girl.
Whenever he’s around he would play with me and tell me mind-blowing stories about life with his favourite been on how man has been the problem of man in the cosmos.
My father can’t resist telling me stories of how man’s curiosity became the greatest of all virtues.
These are moments with my dad, I miss whenever he’s not around.
Unfortunately, work couldn’t allow him to spend much time with his daughter while alive, he died when I was 15 from severe cancer called Mesothelioma cancer.
Life turned out to be so painful to me and my mother, especially I for I felt a sharp pain right inside of me each time I think about the demise of my father. He’s gone and no way to see him again.
Who will tell me stories to prepare my life for the realities it might present? Although my mother is there, she’s not my dad, he’s absolutely irreplaceable.
My academics suddenly became something uninteresting, as I am beginning to lose interest for I still grief about the death of my father.
Coping with the grief and loss, was actually a hell to me and my final exams were forthcoming.
My mother who I am found staying with and most times helping her with domestic work and replying emails on the desktop computer, emails from her clients.
She’s a work from home mom and has this strong thought against dating before the age of 20, she’s totally against it and can make up anything to prevent it.
There are uncountable sceneries where my mother sat in two rows with me giving me relationship advice, which anchors on never to fall in love at 20.
Each time she says so I am curious to find out why she advised me not to fall in love under 20. But she wasn’t comfortable telling me the reasons behind her decisions to keep me away from getting into a relationship.
I had completed my secondary school education and getting ready for my aptitude test to gain admission into one of the reputable universities in town.
My mother noticed in few months time I would be staying at the school hostel and she wouldn’t be able to place a watching eye over me less she’s still able to use my friends as watchdogs by bribing them with edibles.
I think at this point in time she was busy battling with her thoughts on how to poison my heart about love. Only this she knew will help me turn down requests from any guy in the university.
My mother would prefer to see me often with the ladies than men, it’s only at this she founds peace of mind.
Luckily for me, I did well in my aptitude test and was offered admission to study accountancy in the tertiary institution.
I only had a few weeks left to report to the school for verification and my mother had said the following.
Unbelievable Lies About Love
1. You could be used
My mother sounds so intense whenever she says this, she doesn’t want to appear too authoritative to me for goodness sake but she couldn’t rest her minds off my actions as a teenager.
She had always said that people who’re used are people who decided to fall in love so quickly.
This probably means that your partner could turn out to treat you so badly because you love them.
Is this something true about love? Even if it is, should we always be scared about falling in love, should we from one event about love deduce the outcome of several other events concerning love?
I would always argue if all these were true to the core for I have had my fair share about falling in love under twenty from several love magazines and novels I read.
They’re as interesting as always especially when both characters fall in love with the right person.
Love becomes sweet and bitter otherwise.
I have also seen people grow in love, people receive help from those who love and cherish them.
2. Love has all but wrong sides
This was to make me scared about loving a man…
If I should adhere strictly to my mother’s advice about love and getting into a relationship, I would stay single forever.
I became so accustomed to the bad sayings about love, she has a great passion for the love for all but never the love for a man.
Saying I love you to a man could land me into a problem if she gets to know, for her thoughts will drill deep down negatives I couldn’t even imagine at my very age.
Love leading to a relationship like dating a guy is almost tantamount to life leading to death according to her perceptions.
She would list a handful of awful relationship events leading to unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections.
Always, she gets my head sunk into sad stories of how love led to the loss of lives of many who believed in loving a man wholeheartedly especially at the younger stage.
3. It takes two to tango
This is one of her favourite quotes but I grew up to question its validity.
It takes two to tango is true for becoming couples as one can’t have a wedding alone.
Basically, in today’s world, we see people breaking up and this usually doesn’t take two but for one person to file a divorce or break up, and leave the other so stranded, it isn’t necessarily two all the time.
4. You’re too young for this
Love is the language understood by the aged!
I am often reprimanded each time I ask questions about love and romance.
You’re still a kid is the words she often yells at me.
She believed some questions about relationships are made available to certain age brackets and should be password protected for other age she considers immature for it.
Most parents including my mother are engraved in the thoughts that teens are too young to be given sex education for they can abuse what they’re opened to know.
In the case to do so, she’s probably on the journey to spare the rod and spoil the child.
The truth is that whatsoever you fail to teach your kid today about love and romance, including sex, friends will teach them wrongfully most times.
Kids should know all they needed to know about love, sex, romance and relationship. This is best handled by parents or can be assisted by an expert in the field to help mold the child into becoming a responsible person in future.
It is backed by science that teens who receive accurate relationship advice from their parents or experts, would live happily and enjoy their relationship.
5. Love means sex to teens
My mother would do anything within her capacity to ensure I didn’t lose my virginity before getting married.
She always sees it that getting close to a man in the name of love and starting up a relationship with him will probably make me lose my virginity.
It was very hard for my mother to believe love can exist between two lovebirds (teenagers) without involving sex.
People can date without sex, this is true but my mother will never subscribe to it.
It sounds almost meaningless to her that young people who’re fond of themselves will stay together without sexual activities.
She’s convinced that young people do not know anything about love and when they say love, they mean sex.
In sum up
My mother lied to me about love, sex and romance. She was just afraid of misleading her little daughter.
Nevertheless, it would have prepared me earlier enough as she later started discussing with me the truths about love known to her. This happened to be close to the time I was engaged and will be getting married to the love of my life #LOML.
Parents are lovely, for several reasons they could lie to us about relationship especially when they feel we’re too young to understand the tongue which they speak in.
Did your mother or any other person ever lied to you about love when you were still younger, what other lies have you heard about love?