Have you gotten over the breakup with your ex? or you are probably thinking of ways how to ask your ex to get back together?
Moving on can be difficult especially if you still have feelings for your ex. You have probably tried out several measures just so you can move on, but you haven’t made headway and you are thinking of asking your ex to get back together.
But before you take trajectory of your decisions, there are some relationship that is best left in the past especially if the breakup was a result of domestic violence, verbal abuse, and infidelity.
Sometimes, the above factors might not even be the reasons for your breakup. It could be that you guys aren’t compatible, You just don’t fit in intellectually, socially, and in virtually every aspect of your life. Going back to this kind of relationship is like moving around a circle.
It won’t work.
The decision to go back to your ex shouldn’t be driven by loneliness, it should be something you have pondered thoroughly.
There was a reason you guys broke up at first, depending on the gravity of what the issue was that resulted in the breakup, it is important you take time off to understand the root of the breakup to see if it is something you can move past.
Also, getting stuck with a shitty ex just because you are afraid of starting something new is the worse thing you can do to yourself, there are millions of people in the world, different cultures, diverse tongues, and different races for you to choose from.
Don’t be scared to move on or try something new.
However, if you have weighed the gravity of what they did and it is something that can be forgiven, let’s move on to how to ask your ex to get back together
How to ask your ex to get back together
Examine and interpret Your emotions
Take a deep breath, look within and ask yourself if your emotions are real and true.
Oftentimes, loneliness drives us into making decisions that would yield daunting results, the reason why you want your ex back might not necessarily be because you love them.
It might be that you are experiencing stress or the highs and lows of life and your emotion is tricking you into believing that getting back with your ex is how to handle the whole issue.
Also, selfishness is sometimes the reason why we want an ex back, You lose sight of what isn’t logical and go for what you think is best for you whether or not it makes sense.
Repeating circles of a breakup isn’t good for your mental health, what this will lead to is long-term emotional damage.
I bet you don’t want that? When the thought of getting an ex back comes to you, the first thing that should come to mind is whether or not you are willing to take on the responsibility of showing up, paying attention, and staying committed.
There is no point starting on something you won’t be committed to 100%.
Take time off to ponder on these things, don’t be in a haste to give your answers, and think through the issue.
Understand the breakup
Before you decide on going back to your ex, it is important to take some time off to reflect on your relationship and why it ended.
Unfortunately, the reason why most relationships end over time is as a result of unresolved conflict that piled up over time. This problem could just be a minor communication issue, not paying attention, taking things with levity, and a lot more. And because they weren’t addressed immediately, it became unbearable, hence the relationship had to end.
If you are looking at asking your ex to get back, what would you do differently? Because it is baseless to go back into a relationship with your ex if you are not ready to adjust to their standards.
What would you do differently if your ex takes you back? If your idea of going back to your ex is not because you have worked on some of the things that led to the breakup from your end, your relationship is already a failure even before it starts.
Be willing to forgive
if you are looking for how to ask your ex to get back together, you must be willing to forgive.
Presumably, your ex was the reason the relationship had to end, maybe because they cheated.
Forgiveness is the way forward in this situation. If you aren’t willing to forgive and let go, it is better to hold off a little.
Because what you will realize is that you might get upset and become abusive anytime they are with the opposite sex.
It’s simple, if you can’t forgive, move past the relationship.
Work on building trust
If the reason for your breakup is related to trust issues and you still want your ex back, you both should have a conversation about it.
Put up workable plans that will help heal the hurt and also build trust.
Redefine what commitment means and give a thorough definition of what trust means to you and how trust can be broken with respect to you.
Our definition of trust varies with the circumstance, you both might have different definitions of trust.
So, to be on the same page and on the safer side, it is better if both partners share what trust means to them.
Step up your game
Possibly, the reason why your relationship had ended with your ex was that your dressing didn’t fit into their standard, and your way of thinking was way behind their thought pattern.
It’s time to step up your game, you don’t want to get your ex back still in the same baggage.
Move with classy, smart, and intelligent people, there is a way moving with this set of people influences your thought pattern and dressing.
Read books on self-improvement, and take bold steps to become a better version of yourself, so that the next time you meet up with an ex, they will have no choice but to take you back because of the intelligent conversation, and beautiful appearance you now have as against when they use to be with you.
Don’t gossip about them
Not spreading vulnerable or false information about your ex to friends is how to ask your ex to get back together.
Possibilities are that if you have bad-mouthed him, someone somewhere could convey the information to them and this has canceled out any chances you could have had.
So, irrespective of how bad they hurt you and how bad you want to lash back at them, it is important you focus on the good things they have done in time past.
Be real with yourself
After you must have figured out the reasons why the relationship ended, it’s time to see what can be done differently and see if you are up to the task.
Because, it is of no use chatting up your ex, saying sweet things to them, only for you to be struggling with adjusting.
Importantly, the first thing you should do in this case before approaching your ex is to start doing things differently, this makes it a lot easier when you finally get back together with your ex.
Are your issues fixable?
Looking at how to ask your ex to get back together, one thing you should look at is if the issues that led to the end of the relationship are fixable.
If it is an issue of domestic violence, and verbal abuse, the relationship should remain in the past.
But, if it is because your partner started giving you less attention simply because they got a new job that took most of their time, you should be looking at asking them what measures they have put in place for you to get the attention you want.
This kind of issue is repairable and can be managed.
Ascertain if they have not moved on
This is not what you want to hear, but if you are looking at how to ask your ex back together, it is important to know if they have moved on and are in a new relationship.
You don’t want to launch out only to be hitting on the wrong target. Peradventure, he is in a relationship or has moved on, it’s time to move on.
Don’t beat around the bush.
Take the process slowly
Now, that you are certain that your emotion is not playing tricks on you and your ex isn’t hasn’t moved on, it’s time to initiate the conversation, but I will advise you to take it slowly.
Start with a text message, don’t overdo it. So as not to be communicated wrongly.
See it as if you are starting over
Granted that Several adjustments have been made, you both have defined boundaries and are willing to start all over, irrespective of how well you have known this person, Things will be better if both parties see this as a fresh start.
A new beginning with the same person is about time you both implement, adjust, learn, and unlearn, just so the relationship can work.
If you still have the mindset of running the relationship the way you did with the previous one, there is no reason to initiate the conversation of wanting your ex back.
Tell them the things you did when they were away
Chances are, you started a new relationship after you ended the one with your ex, it is important to talk to your ex about it, especially now that you are looking at how you both can be together.
To avoid stories popping up in the future, you must talk to them about them.
Reminisce on the beautiful memories you had together
Presumably, your ex has given you their verdict with respect to getting them back, whether it is a positive answer or not, you must remind them of how beautiful your life was with them.
Reminisce on the good memories you both shared, this has a way of rekindling your love in their heart.
It is time to get to work
Depending on what category you fall into, work in this sense is splitted into two categories;
The first category is that your ex is enthusiastic and positive about taking you back, it’s now time to put in a lot of effort to see that the relationship works out.
The second category talks about an ex who has moved on or is in a new relationship, what you need to do is to move on.
You can’t and shouldn’t force yourself on someone. There are billions of people in the world, you shouldn’t be found snitching on your ex or looking for how to ask your ex to get back together if you fall within this category.
Reasons to get back with an ex
Most importantly, emotions shouldn’t be the only motivation for you wanting to get to your ex, there are certain factors you should put into consideration.
- Both of you are willing to work things out
- Your relationship is fixable
- Both of you are willing to build trust
If the above measures are not in place, it is of no use to go back to your ex.
One factor that has kept a lot of people in a toxic relationship is the fear of moving on,
they are scared to start all over, hence, they remain stuck with a shitty partner.
I do not want this for you, there are a whole lot of beautiful relationships out there, and yours can work too.
You don’t have to settle for what is not good, don’t settle for a disloyal partner, one that thinks it is a norm to cheat.
Don’t settle for a man that hits you at the slightest provocation he’s got. You are way better than that.
Finally, if after you have taken the time to ascertain that your feelings are true, your relationship issue is fixable, and you both are willing to work on your relationship, you can go ahead with starting with your ex.
We hope this article on how to ask your ex back together has been of great help to you? I look forward to hearing beautiful love stories from you.
