Are you in a serious relationship and you just messed things up by cheating? Are you looking at how to get your ex back after cheating?
Cheating destroys relationships. It causes a breach between you and your partner. Trust is broken and your partner proceeds to break up with you.
In most cases, a love relationship crashes as a result of infidelity, and most partners that were cheated on often make the decision never to get back with their cheating ex simply because they do not want to repeatedly go through the trauma and surge of emotions the betrayal brings.
However, if you cheated on your ex and you are looking at how to get your ex back after cheating, this article is for you.
But before we proceed, I will like to emphasize on the fact that cheating is bad and no one deserves to be cheated on. The aftermath of this leaves the one who was cheated on in a state of dilemma, they begin to question whether or not they were good enough, if the problem was from them, then they are left with a whole lot of emotional drama bustling their mind.
However, we must understand that mistakes happen and that relationships can survive betrayals, if the one who cheated acknowledged his wrong, and the partner that was cheated on chooses to forgive.
So, if you are looking at getting your ex back even after you cheated, essentially, you are certain that it is not going to be an easy task.
Have you realized that what you did was wrong? Are you trying to reach out now because you are bored? Do you think your partner will trust you again?
Having answered the above question, you can then proceed to the tips I will be providing below on how to get your ex back after cheating.
How To Get Your Ex Back After Cheating
Truth is, you might end up not getting what you want, but giving it a try is better than not trying at all this is because no one wants to be stuck with an unfaithful partner.
1. Admit to your wrong
When the news of your infidelity comes out, your partner is going to say a lot of mean words to you plus ending the relationship will be the best option at his disposal.
You did a heinous thing and you got caught, this is not the time to defend yourself or blame others for your cheating. Especially if you are looking at getting your ex back.
A way to admit your wrong is to end the relationship with the other person, cut off every form of contact with them and make them know that you don’t want to have anything to do with them.
In all this process, ensure you carry your ex along as this will help rebuild trust in your relationship. A better way to do this is to delete all their contact and chats in the presence of your ex.
If you are not willing to let go of the third-party relationship, the chances of getting back with your ex are slim.
2. Give them space
It is normal for you to want to reach out to your ex after the breakup to tell them your side of the story, but you need to know that your face is the last thing your ex wants to see especially because the reason for your breakup was infidelity.
It’s ok to observe the no contact rule for a month or two, during this time, you don’t slide into their DM on social media to tell them how much you miss them, they don’t want to hear it.
You messed up big time, and snitching on them almost immediately would push them far away.
Your ex needs time to clear his or her head.
Give them that time. This is how to get your ex back after cheating.
Looking at If the case were reversed, you wouldn’t want to see their faces as well, so you have got to stop being a pain in the ass.
3. You should ask yourself “why you cheated”
Truthfully speaking, we sometimes do not intend to hurt our loved ones, situation happens where the third party seduced you and your partner walked in on you while you were in the act.
Whatever your reasons for cheating might be, you must look within and ask yourself sincere questions like this:
- Why did you cheat? Was it because your partner wasn’t giving you the necessary attention? Are you scared of committing to a partner? Your partner was not emotionally and physically available when you needed them?
- Now that you are planning on getting back with your partner, how do you intend to rebuild trust?
- What are the necessary measures you have put in place to see that you do not mess up the second time?
- Could your reasons for cheating be worked on?
5. Find out if they want you back
Now that you have decided you want your ex back, you must know that the choice on whether or not they want to start all over with you is entirely your ex’s decision.
If the relationship was short-term, chances are that your ex won’t give you a second chance, but if it was a long-term relationship that involves kids, they might want to take you back and work on improving the relationship.
Also, if you had a very healthy relationship before you broke up, chances are that your ex might consider taking you back, but if the relationship already had a strain, chances are, they won’t take you back.
6. Apologize for your actions
After you have passed the no contact rule stage for a month, taking responsibility for your actions is how to get your ex back after cheating? This is not the time to blame your ex for the role they played or didn’t play, it is time to be accountable for what you did.
The best way to go about this is to send them a text message. Chances are, that if you put a call across to them, they might ignore your calls.
So, reach them via SMS, or email, ensure that your message is short and precise, and you shouldn’t go overboard with it.
Be sincere with the tone in which you type the message. You can text them by saying “I am sorry for the major role I played that led to the end of our relationship, I sincerely take responsibility for my actions and the hurt it must have caused you, I am deeply sorry and I want to talk to you about moving forward”
Let the apology flow sincerely from your heart
7. Meet them in person
Meeting your ex in person is relatively dependent on how they respond to the message you sent to them, if the response was positive, then cheers to moving forward.
Now, you must understand that the whole idea of wanting to meet in person is not for a date, it is just so that you both can talk things through.
Invite them for lunch, coffee, or to a serene environment that is void of distraction.
Chances are, your ex is still hurt, and any romantic gesture from you can be a total turn-off, so it is at your best disposal to be platonic.
Most importantly, you do not have to talk about your past relationship the entire time, you can talk about life in general, business, and animals.
Be sure to not mention anything that will relieve the hurt they already have.
Importantly, the choice to get back to you after you cheated is left to your ex, so, you need patience.
8. Ask him or her to forgive you
Chances are, that you are following this step, if you are going to have a chance of getting back with your ex after you cheated, here is how to.
Ask for forgiveness, but be sure to know that forgiveness isn’t easy. You hurt your ex and broke his or her trust alongside, the choice to forgive or not is entirely their decision to make.
You are going to need a lot of patience because for them to forgive you, you must earn their trust.
9. Be patient
Still, on how to get your ex back after you cheated, you must be patient.
This is the hard part of the whole reconciliation process because even after your ex has decided to take you back, they might not forgive you immediately. It might take longer.
The same way people deal with situations of life differently is the same way people handle cheating, some might get over it real quick, while some can be assertive about it, trying to process the entire situation to see if you are worth a second chance.
Whatever the case may be, patience is what you will need to be able to resolve the whole situation. After all, you are the one who messed up big time.
10. Have an open and honest conversation
Your ex might want to put some barriers and rules as regards starting over with you.
They might need you to always communicate your whereabouts with them frequently as well as your thought about the relationship.
Their way of starting over with you might require you to be more committed than usual.
It could also be that they would want you to be honest about your everyday challenges and how you are working towards becoming a trustable partner.
Looking at how to get your ex back after cheating, these are the prices you would have to pay for breaking the rules.
11. Your ex will be on the lookout
Now, that your ex has decided to move past the breakup and move forward with you, it shouldn’t be surprising when they are on the lookout for you.
That is, they are monitoring every of your move. You shouldn’t be found doing what will question their decisions about you.
Do not flirt with other girls, avoid social media drama, and just be focused on your relationship.
12. Accommodate their excesses
Yes, be ready to accommodate their excesses, after all, you are the one who let the hook out of the bag.
Your ex won’t take it easy on you. Their way of treating you might seem like punishment, but it isn’t, it is their way of building trust.
So, don’t get defensive when they ask for access to your phone or social media handles.
Being defensive can sabotage any chances you have with building trust with them, it leaves them with the thought of “if you can be trusted”
So if you looking at how to get your ex back after cheating, you had better follow the rules.
13. Let your action speak
How to get your ex back after cheating? Let your actions speak. It is not enough that you have made promises about your change. Every of your move should indicate that you have accepted and you are adopting change.
Listen more, pay attention to details more, show up at home early, and be punctual to date.
Just do something that will make them believe that you are a changed person.
14. Don’t be optimistic about their response
Just to digress a bit, your ex might never want to have anything to do with you, and it is reasonable.
Let’s look at it from a statistical approach, it is apparent that 40% of divorce is a result of infidelity.
Some partners can’t and won’t move on with someone who cheated on them not once, or twice, but repeatedly.
So, if your partner decides that moving on with you isn’t a good feat for them, it is better you throw in the towel and move on.
Peradventure, you were lucky enough, your ex accepted to move past the breakup to start all over with you, it is important you know that your relationship with them won’t be the same.
You are going put in a whole lot of hardwork to see to the successful running of your relationship.
Trust can be rebuilt, however, in a bid to get your ex back, be sure to look out for some toxic behaviour such as digging old wounds in a big to get back to you.
If this happens repeatedly, it is an indication that you should move on. You don’t want to live in regret for the rest of your life.
Finally on how to get your ex back after cheating, we sincerely hope that this piece has been of great help to you.
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