There’s always a huge difference between having a boyfriend who genuinely cares about you and one who’s straight up obsessed with you.
If that’s the case you’ll want to seriously address this with your boyfriend,- you’ll want to find out the root cause of his behavior- sometimes it may be psychological.
If you find that you ask yourself whether his behavior is ok or normal, here are some signs your boyfriend is obsessed with you.
Maintaining a relationship with an obsessive boyfriend may turn toxic or even downright dangerous, with that said, sit back as we take you through some of the obvious signs that your boyfriend has crossed the line from affectionate to obsessive.
29 Signs Of An Obsessive Boyfriend
1. He wants to spend every single minute with you
Ok it’s fine that you guys want to spend a lot of time together.
In fact, it’s fairly normal for lovers, especially when a relationship is in its honeymoon stage.
However, it’s pretty much abnormal for someone to want to be permanently be stuck to your side.
In every healthy relationship, there are times when both people want to do everything together, and then there are times when you just want to do things independently.
Notwithstanding how much time you guys spend together, spending some time apart really gives you time to appreciate your time together.
It’s always a ‘red flag’, when a man is always attached to you.
2. He’s always in contact
It’s downright obsessive for a man to always be in contact with you.
Maybe he rings you multiple times a day or texts you multiple times in an hour.
‘Beware’- he could be obsessed with you.
It’s normal for your man to send texts checking up on you a few times during the day, but it’s not normal for your man to be blowing up your phone all day every day.
Another ‘red flag’ to watch out for to know if your man is most likely obsessed is if he gets annoyed when you don’t text fast enough or answer your phone as soon as he calls.
3. He shows up unannounced and surprises you a lot
Him showing up without informing you in advance can be sweet and romantic.
But if your boyfriend is constantly surprising you with his presence, you should be concerned.
Rather than it being a one-off romantic gesture, if your boyfriend is surprising you a lot, this likely means that he is following you around.
This sort of behavior is similar to that of a stalker, you excusing it is encouraging his obsession with you.
4. He constantly wants to know your whereabouts
He constantly wants to know where you are
When you’re apart from your man, does he always want to know where you are?
He’s constantly ringing you to ask where you are or your plans for the day- watch out, he might be obsessed.
Unless you actually want to tell your partner everything and want to let them know where you are at all times, they don’t have to know where you are 24/7.
5. He is jealous of your time with family and friends
You spending time with family and friends gets him jealous.
If your boyfriend is being obsessive, they won’t want you spending time with anyone else other than them.
They may even create problems and situations to stop you from spending time with others.
This may go as far as badmouthing your closest family and best friend to you, or emotionally manipulating the relationship between you and your loved ones so you spend lesser time with them and more time with him.
6. He never wants to attend group functions with you.
If your boyfriend is obsessed with you, you’ll begin to notice that you very rarely spend time with him in the presence of other people.
For example, he insists that you don’t hang out with your friends and him all at the same time, or you’ll not attend parties and other functions together, just because he wants you all to himself.
He’ll also not want to spend time with you around other men.
7. He tells everyone that you’re ‘his’
If your boyfriend is constantly telling everyone that you’re ‘his’, be careful he may be think of you as one of his possessions, not as a partner but as something he owns.
Although you might be in a relationship, if he’s speaking about you like this, which is obviously unfair and unhealthy, it may be a sign your boyfriend is obsessed with you.
8. He’s stalks your social media
If your boyfriend occasionally likes your posts and comments on them, it’s pretty normal.
But if your man is actively commenting, liking, and reposting your posts, as well as constantly posting photos of you, mostly showing you off to the world, that’s not only a sign of an obsessed boyfriend, it can can also be a sign of insecurity.
9. He knows information about you you’ve never told him
Does your boyfriend seem to know things about you you’ve never mentioned to him, perhaps a past relationship, who your last best friend was, what your cousin is called, your last holiday a year ago.
Importance shouldn’t be placed on what he knows, but the things you’ve never mentioned to him before.
It’s a really terrible feeling to know your man knows deep about your life before him, he’s probably been stalking and obsessing over you, and it’s downright uncomfortable.
10. He asks for your password to everything
If you’re boyfriend is obsessed he’s most likely to ask for your password to everything, ranging from your phone to social media even email accounts password.
It’s ok if you give it to them, but if they try to access it without your consent, watch out- it’s a ‘red flag’. Every healthy relationship requires some amount of trust, so there’s absolutely no reason for your man to have access to all your accounts.
11. He makes it seem like everything he does is for your benefit
An obsessed boyfriend will most likely be emotionally manipulating you.
This usually is so, when he does something unreasonable and tries to spin the situation to make it seem like it’s for your benefit.
12. He accuses you of being unfaithful all the time
He often accuses you of being unfaithful.
An obsessed person is usually extremely jealous. If you boyfriend takes every opportunity to accuse you of unfaithfulness, it is a sign that he is obsessed People that are obsessed are also extremely jealous, something as small as hanging out with a male friend or speaking to a guy on the street will trigger him to accuse you.
He will not only do this to emotionally manipulate you into feeling in the wrong, he will also do this because he is scared of losing you to someone else.
He’s probably not a good boyfriend and knows this, this isn’t a relationship this is ‘toxic’, get out as soon as you can.
13. He tracks your every minute
If your boyfriend is obsessed with you, they might go as far as asking that you install a tracking app, or they might even install a tracking app on your phone without you knowing.
Not only is this extremely unhealthy and dangerous. Unless you have agreed (out of choice and preference) to have a tracking app on your phone, your man should never have to know where you are at or be able to track you at all times.
14. He gaslights you
It’s common for people who are obsessed with somebody to gaslight them. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where one partner makes the other feel like they’re losing their sanity and going ‘crazy’.
Gaslighting is used as a way to manipulate their partner (more appropriately called, victim) into always needing them and relying on them, making them stay in the relationship with them.
15. He says his ex-girlfriend’s crazy
You should always avoid guys that call their ex-girlfriend crazy, because most of the time, these guys are actually the ones that have the issues, and try to hide it by pushing it onto somebody else – once again, never taking the blame.
If you always find your guy talking about his ex-girlfriend badly, or saying in particular that she was ‘crazy’, it’s definitely not a good sign.
16. He harasses you if you do something he doesn’t like
When you do anything that your man doesn’t agree with or appreciate, what’s her response system like does he threaten you, either emotionally or physically? If he does, it could be that he’s obsessed with you and he’s trying to keep you ‘inline’.
He will try to command your every move, but unlike a possession that your man will be able to control, you are a person, with your own mind and own ability to do anything, so he will find it very difficult to deal with this.
17. He sends threats, if you try to leave him
Try to leave a boyfriend that’s obsessed with you, he will most likely threaten you, either emotionally or physically, or he may threaten you by saying that he will harm himself. He is trying to control you to stay in the relationship, not only by scaring you into staying with him but also by making you feel guilty if you leave.
This kind of abusive behavior should never be tolerated.
18. You’re a concern to your friends and family
If you find that family and friends are concerned with your partner’s controlling and obsessive behavior, it’s a sure sign that your guy is obsessed.
Your family and friends are the people that know you best, if you find that family and friends are concerned with your partner’s controlling and obsessive behavior, it’s a sure sign that your guy is obsessed.
If your family and friends haven’t yet said anything about your partner’s actions.
If you’re concerned about your partner’s actions, speak to one of your closest family members or your best friend and see what they think.
19. You feel smothered
One of the most obvious signs that your man is obsessive is if you feel like you’re being smothered by them.
If you’re getting frustrated that your guy is always by your side all the time, always involved with everything you do, always trying to be in contact with you, constantly giving you hassle you about spending time with a friend, and emotionally manipulating you, it’s a sign that you need to leave the relationship, or seriously sit down with them and tell them that the way they act is wrong.
20. He tries to intimidate other guys to keep them away from you.
If he’s doing this, for your own sake, stay clear from him.
Sometimes guys are subtle about this. But, if he does this you will notice that guys are too scared to approach you in public, they will only approach in private or simply bail on you.
If he does this on repeat and you’re unsure what to do, try consulting a family member or friend you trust. They might have experience dealing with obsession too.
21. He lingers around places you go, without any reason other than to see you.
Stalk mode activated!
He regularly violates healthy boundaries. This isn’t just obsession – it’s unhealthy and definitely not sweet.
If your boyfriend wants to see you, he should be capable of saying that and making plans with you like a mature adult.
We all deserve healthy love, not an obsessed person.
22. He can’t take no for an answer.
Perhaps you’ve repeatedly told him you’re not interested, and he doesn’t seem to get it, he really might be a jerk.
If he keeps trying, despite months of disinterest on your part, he might be obsessed with you.
23. He tries to make it nearly impossible for you to leave him.
This is a big sign he might be dangerously obsessed with you.
Maybe you’ve often thought on getting a restraining order against this obsessed person but are afraid of his reaction, you need to speak to someone you trust quickly about this.
If you need help making a safe plan to leave, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline/something similar to this in your country of residence.
24. People you know often call him “your stalker.”
As funny as this sounds, it is simply not cute.
Nothing to joke about in the message they’re trying to send,- he is obviously obsessed and they’re a bit concerned.
You can tell he’s obsessed if you feel you can’t spend time with friends without him showing up.
25. He seems to know you, but you don’t really know him.
A guy who truly loves you will be transparent with you- he will give you the chance for you to get to know him.
You’ll know he loves basketball, has a thing for Game of Thrones. You’ll also know where he works and hangs out.
This is so because he actually took the time to get to know you and fall for you as you were also taking the time to get to know him and fall for him.
If your boyfriend’s obsessed with you, on the other hand, he will likely know a lot about you while you may know little to none about him.
26. He makes it a point to shower you with attention even when you ask him not to.
Even when you’ve made a point of telling him you’re not interested, he’s sending you daily love notes, calling you all the time, and basically trying to steal all your time.
If you notice he’s doing this alongside other behaviors mentioned on this list, it may not be plain infatuation, he may be obsessed
27. You feel like he’s suffocating you.
He all over you, he’s constantly intruding on all aspects of your life. He’s decided that he must be near you at all times, regardless of your opinion.
You feel trapped because he doesn’t seem to feel like he’ll be fine without you.
It’s very scary to be the subject of someone’s toxic obsession.
28. He’s unreasonably jealous.
Does he often get snappy when he hears you talk with other guys. This could mean he’s obsessed and badly so.
If he loves you, he should respect and trust you to decide who you want to spend time with.
29. He’s actually quite delusional.
Most of the stuff he tells you doesn’t seem to make sense — and if it does, it’s only in a weird way.
This is another sign he’s delusional and obsessed about you, rather than actually in love with you.
Is he obsessed or in love?
Where do you draw the line between obsession and love? If someone is genuinely in love with you, surely they’ll want to make you happy, trust you, accept and support your decisions.
On the other hand, when a person’s obsessed the will be forceful, constantly jealous also downright manipulate you.
The truth is, they’re in love with their idea or version of you and not who you really are.
What is considered obsessive love?
Obsessive love is a personality disorder that makes a person feel overwhelmingly in love with another, to the point where they’re manipulative and treat you as their possession.
Do I have obsessive love disorder?
Go through the signs in this article and see if they apply to you.
Do you monitor their every moment? Are you constantly surprising them? Do you get jealous when they hangout with people other than you?
If you think you have obsessive love disorder, chances are – you could be obsessed
As this article comes to a close, hopefully, by now you can tell the difference between real love and obsession.
Open your eyes, stand up for yourself if it’s so. Above all don’t you fall for it.
Never let anyone treat you badly,- we all deserve true love.
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