80 Funniest Christmas Jokes – You Can’t Stop Laughing

Christmas jokes

Christmas is always the jolliest time of the year, a time for giving, happiness, and family. And also, Christmas is a time for reflection, to reflect on the happy moments throughout the year, the challenges you were able to overcome, friends made, together with friends and family, sharing gifts, memories, and smiles.

On that note, a gift of laughter and cheers would be perfect from someone who really cares (that’s you by the way).

80 Christmas jokes for kids and adults that you won’t be able to stop laughing at.

1. What holiday do cribs celebrate? Huna-cauz.

2. Why did Santa’s helper get depressed?  He had low elf esteem.

3. What do English royalty say before a fight?  Put up your dukes.

4. What happens when Santa shakes his hips really fast?  Giggle balls.

5. Do you know Santa used to be a pimp? He walked with a candy cane.

6. Why did Santa send her daughter to college?  To keep her off the North Pole.

7. What do you call an elf in jail? A lepra-con.

8. What reindeer has a red nose and drops classic albums like “chicken and beer”? Ludulph.

9. What do you call a broke Santa? ST nickle-less.

10. One of Santa’s elf, quite to join a gang, he was a rebel without a Claus.

11. What do you call it when a Bluetooth signal interviews twins for a double date? Pre-pairing.

12. What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?  Santa Claus stopped at three Ho’s.

13. What type of shorts do clouds wear? Thunder wear.

 14. What do you get when you mix latex with a candy cane? A condomint.

15. What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad. A pineapple.

16. What’s the name of Santa’s black elf?  Reakwanzaa.

17. Why was Rudolph asked to leave the party?  He was too lit.

18. What happens when Mrs. Claus wears pants that are too tight?  A mistletoe.

19. Why didn’t the gingerbread man leave his house? He was too baked.

20. Why did Santa get a parking ticket? Because he parked in a snow-parking zone.

21. Why Was The workaholic elf kicked out of the shop? He was resisting A-rest.

22. How do you make antifreeze? You take away her blanket.

23. If you have cheese without crackers what are you? Crackerlacking.

24. Why don’t candle trimmers, work from Monday to Friday? Because they only work on wick-ends.

 25. What’s a magician’s favorite dance move? Abraca-Dab-ra.

26. What do Mexicans Do outside on a snowy day? They Berri-toes in the Snow.

27. How did Anakins know what gifts Obi-wan was gonna get her? She felt his presents.

28. What’s the first thing Santa’s helpers learn in school? The elf-abet.

29. What do you call it, when a pound of ground beef is told to help a girl? Hamburger help-er.

30. If you get cold where should you go to get warm in your house? To a corner, they’re usually 90 degrees.

31. What do you get when you mix avocado with a gun? Glock-amoly.

32. Why isn’t Santa married? You can’t turn a HO HO HO into a house wife.

33. What do you say, when Santa takes attendance in school?  Present.

34. Why do monsters live healthy lives? Because they know witch doctors, to go to.

35. What’s the name of Bruce Lee’s vegan brother? Broccoli.

36. Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer too long.

37. What’s the difference between snowman and snowwoman? Snowballs.

38. What type of bike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson.

39. Where do elf’s go dancing?  Christmas balls.

40. What do you get when you mix Santa and a detective?  Santa clues.

41. Why wouldn’t the cat climb the Christmas tree? It was scared of the bark.

42. What says oh oh oh? Santa talking backward.

43. What’s Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents? Idaho-ho-ho.

44. What type of car does the elf drive? A toy-ota.

45. What do you call the elf that likes to sing? Elf-is Presley.

46. What does the snowman eat for lunch? Ice burger.

47. What’s the Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Orna-mints.

48. What does the snowman wear when it gets sunny? Icecaps.

49. Where does Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee? Star bucks.

50. Who does Santa have a crush on? Mary Christmas.

51. What did the elf post on his social media? Elfies.

52. How did the snowman get to work? By-iceicle.

53. What did Rudolph ask Santa about the weather? Is it going to rain dear?

54. Which of Santa’s reindeer needs to mind their manners? Rude-olf.

55. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornaments? Stop hanging around.

56. What do you call an elf with snow in his ear? Anything you want, he can’t hear you.

57. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?  So he can Ho Ho Ho.

58. Knock knock, who’s there? Mary,  Mary who? Mary Christmas.

59. When does Christmas come before thanks giving? In the dictionary.

60. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has No-l.

61. What Christmas song was composed in the desert? Camel he faithful.

62. What do you get when Santa goes down the chimney with the fire still lit? Crisp kindles.

63. Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? Because they’re always driving their needles.

64. What always falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt? Snow.

65. What do you call an old snowman? A puddle.

66. What do you call the snowman who became a Gardner? Frosty the mowman.

67. Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band? Because he had the drumsticks.

68. What did the Christmas tree say to the sad light bulb? Lighten up.

69. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? Cookie sheets.

70. Why is Santa good at karate?  He has a black belt.

71. What did Santa pay for his sled? Nothing, it was on the house.

72. What did they sing under the ocean on Christmas? Christmas corals.

73. How does Santa take pictures? With his north Polaroid.

74. What’s green covered with tinsels and goes ribbit ribbit? Mistletoed.

75. What treat went to see the doctor? The gingerbread man was feeling crummy.

76. What’s invisible and smells like milk and cookies? Santa’s burps.

77. What do Christmas trees and priests have in common? Their balls are just for decoration.

78. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!

79. What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

80. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”

There you go, now you’re well prepared. Making your family Christmas gathering fun will be a breeze now if you remember these jokes.

Drop a comment in the box below, what other Christmas jokes do you know?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You May Also Like