Dark humor is also known as black humor is not for everybody, but knowing it’s just a joke and that no offense was meant would actually make you enjoy it more.
Honestly, it’s for people with a stronger sense of humor, people who know that comedy is just a way of representing our reality and things within, both good and bad in a way as to make people laugh and as well sometimes, make people have deeper thoughts about their existence in general.
Once you are able to get past being offended at the subject matter of a particular dark humor joke, and actually try to enjoy it with bitter amusement, you will realize that dark jokes are amongst the funniest type of jokes one can find. Especially if you fancy short witty jokes that you can read and enjoy personally.
That being said, we have compiled a list of 70 dark humor jokes for you to enjoy, and also share with friends, though you need to be sure they have as much of a sense of humor as you do. If they do, they will definitely laugh out loud with n limits.
1. The First rule of the deaf club is, nyuh nuh nag dalk ahbo nef glub.
2. It’s better to cum a shit load, than to shit a cum load.
3. What’s 11 inches long, and makes her cry at night? Stillbirth.
4. “Dog food lid”, spelled backward is “dildo of god”.
5. How do you spot a blind man at a nudist beach? It’s not hard.
6. The ‘F’in orphan strand for family.
7. What’s the difference between a dead child and a slice of pizza? A slice of pizza can’t feed the family.
8. Son: Dad, am serious, I don’t want to live with grandpa.
Dad: Shut up and keep digging.
9: “People on wheelchairs are getting rapped, why”, the Police chief asked the inspector, Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
10. Why did the black chicken cross the road? The police were on the other side.
11. My sense of humor is so dark, it picks cotton.
12. What’s the difference between police and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone, it’s fired.
13. I took my Ex out last week, it’s fun being a sniper.
14. What do robots do after sex? He nuts.
15. What’s the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer comes back.
16. My girlfriend called me a pedophile once, I said “woah!, that’s big words from a six-year-old.
17. What does a ham in a sandwich have in common with rednecks? They’re both in-bred.
18. Why is aspirin white? Because it works.
19. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong.
20. Children in the dark makes accidents but accidents In the dark make children.
21. I wonder what my parents did for fun before the internet, I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they had no idea either.
22. A girl followed me yesterday and said come on over nobody is home, I followed her, nobody was home.
23. My girlfriend’s parents ask me what I do, apparently, your daughter isn’t a good answer.
24. What do women have in common with a hurricane? They come in all nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.
25. What does the Spongebob intro have in common with a pedophile? Are you ready kids!!!
26. What do anti-vax kids turn into when they turn 5? Make a wish kids.
27. What do you call an African that’s not hungry? Dead.
28. So I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful boy just sat in his wheelchair and cried all day.
29. I just ate butt for the first time, tasted like shit. Told my grandma she has to wipe her butt.
30. What’s yellow and can’t swim? A school bus, with school kids in them.
31. How do you kill a blind person? Give him a gun, and tell him it’s a blow dryer.
32. What does a basketball practice have in common with my brother? They both end with suicide.
33. Why do I want to be a school bus driver? I don’t wanna die alone.
34. Why are Americans so dumb? The ones that go to school get shot.
35. How do you win an argument against an Emo? You kick the chair.
36. What’s the difference between a pedophile and a condom? Only one gets all the credit for catching kids.
37. What’s the best thing about dating an African girl? You know she’ll swallow.
38. My family is like a treasure to me? You need a shovel and a map to find them.
39. What’s black and white and red all over? An interracial abortion.
40. What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.
41. What’s the difference between an American and a computer? An American doesn’t have troubleshooting.
42. What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? An apple gets picked.
43. I got kicked out last week at the library, because I put the women’s rights book, in the fiction section.
45. Why do orphans miss half of their season’s basketball games? Because they have no home games.
46. What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One is made of plastic and bad for children, the other is meant for carrying groceries.
47. How did Rhianna find out Christ brown was cheating on her? She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
48. When I go, I wanna die peacefully like my grandpa, in his sleep. Not like the people in this car.
49. I don’t know why people were mad about my miscarriage joke, it never gets old, so does the kids in it.
50. Why can’t Micheal Jackson play chess? He’s dead.
51. How do you know your wife is dead? The dishes pile up, but the sex is still the same.
52. What’s the best thing about having sex with a twenty-eight-year-olds? There are 20 of them.
53. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
54. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She Gags.
55. The midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment.
56. How do you get a nun pregnant? You sleep with her.
57. Playing football was like my first time having sex, I was sour and bloody at the end, but queasy my dad came.
58. My girlfriend broke up with me so I stole her wheelchair, guess who came crawling back.
59. How’s a woman like a condom? She’ll spend more time on ur wallet than on your dick.
60. Why do you call it when two transsexual midgets have sex? A microtransaction.
61. What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe? Roberto.
62. What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A wheelchair.
63. I like my women like I like my cigar, 7 years old and Cuban.
64. What do you call a group of emos? Suicide squad.
65. How do you get the emo down the tree? Cut the rope.
66. What’s the worthless piece of skin around a V_rgina called? A woman.
67. How does the redneck mother know when her daughter is on her period? When she can taste blood out of her son’s penis.
68. Why wouldn’t the skeleton go into the hunted house? Because he had no guts.
69. Why couldn’t the orphan go on the field trip? Parents signature.
70. Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
Hope we’ve made you laugh this morning. If you have other dark humor jokes you’d like to share, write it down in the comment section.
