How To Fix A Marriage After Lies – Lying to your spouse is indeed wrong but you shouldn’t allow that to destroy the marriage that you both have spent some years building just because of lies.
You can fix your marriage after lies.
Of course, so many marriage problems have been solved after lies and yours isn’t going to be different.
There’s always a way out.
If your marriage is at the hem of trouble due to lies, then you’ve to read to learn how you can fix your marriage to that peaceful home it used to be before it was destroyeded with lies.
But first of all, let’s clear your doubts concerning the matter at hand.
Can I fix my marriage after Lies?
Yes, though lies can indeed bring issues in marriage that result in other problems in marriage, however, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it can not be fixed.
You lied to your partner or spouse and got caught.
You don’t have to run out of your marriage because of your action, all you’ve to do now is to stand firm to work on how to rebuild trust back in your marriage.
Maybe it was due to excess lies that weakened the love you both have for each other at first, lies like:
- I was occupied, that was why I couldn’t come for your birthday without knowing that your spouse saw you in a romantic affair with a friend.
- I don’t have money for this whereas money was found in your wardrobe.
- I’m very sick, I won’t be able to go with you to your cousin’s wedding but they saw you going out.
Just to mention a few.
Well, no matter how you think about lies, you may think it doesn’t matter, keep in mind that it matters and can destroy any marriage if you pay less attention to fixing it in time.
That’s why we’ve got these tips on how to fix a marriage after lies to help you sort things out fast in your marriage before they get worse.
How can I fix my marriage after lies?
Lying is quite bad. It promotes hatred and may lead to separation among couples if care is not being taken in time, but there’s good news.
Below are tips to help your marriage get back to normal.
12 amazing tips on how to fix a marriage after lies.
Here are they:
- Forgive yourself.
- Apologize as often as possible.
- Commit to open communication.
- Give your partner time.
- Live a truthful life.
- Stop all negative behavior.
- Be completely honest.
- Examine your spouse’s response.
- Adhere to the new set of rules.
- Accept corrections.
- Don’t let in a third party.
- Work it out as a couple.
1. Forgive yourself.
Marriage is built with trust. No doubt, but that shouldn’t make you kill yourself with self-doubt before your spouse hears what you have done.
Forgive yourself. As humans, erring is inevitable. And forgiveness is sure.
Try and put yourself together.
No matter how bad the act is, forgive yourself.
For example, your spouse left for work. You usually know that he comes back by 7.00 am and maybe you fixed a date with another person because you know that your husband will spend time at work till evening.
Immediately after your partner left, You went to the location without knowing that your husband has forgotten some important files at home.
He returned to the house immediately to get the files but noticed you have left the kids alone in the house with no one to take care of them.
On his way back, he saw you somewhere else and pretended as if he never had seen you. When he got home, he asked about you and was told you went out.
Angrily, he took the files and went straight to his office.
Later on, you returned and you were told that your spouse came back to take his files.
At this point, you become more afraid that your partner could do this or that, without even knowing his or her intentions on the matter.
Your partner may not even talk about but you’re already dead in your mind.
What you did was wrong actually, but at this point, you don’t need to be your judge.
Know that no crime is unforgivable as long as there is an existence of love among you too.
Learn to forgive yourself first, and accept any nasty behavior that he or she might start to display, and with that, your partner could be able to forgive you too, by so doing, you’re a step towards fixing your marriage after lies.
2. Apologies as often as possible.
Marriage is not the same as dating or just having a mate.
Marriage is like an institution. Once you are found guilty, try to apologize sincerely and at the right time, if possible, be remorseful for your actions immediately.
An apology will go a long way to soften the heart of your partner and make him or she forgives you fast.
Following that scenario, you will find out that without a sincere apology, it will be very hard to fix that marriage because the husband has discovered that his wife cheats on him when he is not at work.
Not only that, maybe you had a child at home and your wife is not aware of it. If she finds out on her own. The marriage trust has been broken and it requires a sincere apology to fix it.
Don’t expect your spouse to forgive you at your first trial of apology.
Show him or her how sincere you are.
If there is mutual love amongst you too, the marriage could be fixed.
3. Commit to open communication.
Communication is a very important tool in marriage. It shouldn’t be played with.
The way you communicate with your spouse guarantees how easy your marriage could be fixed.
Take responsibility. Don’t allow your spouse to make the first move. Step up and listen. Good listeners tend to get listened to in return.
Don’t behave as if you know all things.
Always write your spouse a note that reinforces your message.
- Baby, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.
- Sweetheart, I miss your understanding and care.
- I’m looking forward to our date on Friday!”
- You know I can’t live without you.
- You’re my source of happiness.
- Your love has given my life a new phase.
These things could be taken for granted but it is the principle of a successful marriage.
To fix your marriage after lies you have to commit yourselves to clear communication, and endeavor to mind the kind of tone used when communicating with your spouse – always maintain a calm tone to help sort things out quickly.
4. Give your spouse time.
Lying doesn’t help in a relationship. It diminishes the love which your spouse has for you.
So once you are guilty. You apologized and your partner isn’t showing any form of forgiveness.
Give him or her some time.
Allow them to sleep and think over it. Don’t push it on him to forgive you.
It’s not easy to control your anger after finding out that your wife cheats on you after you might have gone to work. It’s heartbreaking.
But when give them enough time to reflect well on all that happened, he will likely forgive you.
5. Live a truthful life.
Many marriages have been salvaged because the spouse was living a truthful life until it got to that point.
Don’t start your marriage with lies.
Know that when a marriage isn’t built on trust and faithfulness, it may not last.
So learn to be truthful at all times.
No matter how brutal the truth may sound, speak it up.
Don’t keep secrets because it destroys marriage.
For example, may you have two kids for another man, and the man is the one taking care of them. Tell your husband in time before he founds out from another source.
However, living a truthful life after your spouse founds out about what you have done earlier is one of the great ways to fix your marriage after lies.
6. Stop all negative behavior.
If you want to fix your marriage after lies another amazing thing you should do is to avoid any negative behavior.
When I mean negative behaviors, I mean those things that might cause more problems to your marriage, such characters as:
- Keeping secrets.
- Eye service.
These five negative behaviors may probably destroy a marriage if you don’t avoid them in time.
So you need to try your best not to be found guilty again after you have been forgiven by your spouse.
Because once your spouse discovers that you have been pretending to them instead of truly repenting, it may be hard for you to fix your troubled marriage.
7. Be completely honest.
Three years ago, I watched a man destroy the family he built for years.
What happened? You asked.
Well, he was cheating on his wife. Many people tried to warn him but he kept deaf ears.
It was painful to everyone.
He began spending more and more time with a lady from work and claimed they were just friends.
He goes on date night dates with her. People were always complaining to him about his terrible lifestyle but he wouldn’t listen, rather he sees it as nothing.
He continued to deny the true nature of his relationship with the other lady outside his marital home until his wife got fed up and take action.
So you see? The man wasn’t honest at all to his family.
Successful marriages are built upon honesty.
Perhaps your marriage is struggling after lies and you want to fix the problems.
Anyway, It’s possible to do, but it’s going to require honesty before you can be able to fix your marriage to what you want it to be only when you’re honest.
8. Examine your spouse’s response.
Doubting is not good in marriage. Learn to validate your partner’s response.
Since your marriage has already been built-in trust and love, don’t assume that everything which your spouse says to you relies on you.
He or she might indeed have lied before but you forgive the person.
Learn to believe him or her.
For instance, you were told that your husband is having an affair with his office secretary.
Your husband came home in the evening, you served him food. Later on, you ask him if it’s true that he is having an affair with his secretary.
And he replied no.
Accept his response until you have the evidence.
Therefore, if truly want to fix your marriage to that happy home you crave after lies, never judge or conclude things based on your spouse’s past life.
9. Adhere to the new set of rules.
A lady destroys her marriage herself. She was found lying. She lied that she was very sick which was why she couldn’t pick up her child from school.
But unknown to her, the husband knew what stopped her.
So when she realized that her husband was aware, she apologized.
And the husband decided to set some new rules in their marriage. It happens that she cannot withstand the new conditions and out of anger she left her marriage.
Her action was very wrong.
So if you want to fix your marriage after lies, adhere to the new sets of rules your spouse might come up with.
10. Learn to accept corrections.
Immediately you offend your partner, and he or she forgives and try to correct you, you should learn to be corrected as no one is above making mistakes.
Don’t start keeping malice with your spouse just because you’re being corrected.
Know that no one is above corrections.
Approach the matter amicably, don’t try raising your voice to your partner to avoid causing more problems to your marriage if all you want is, to fix your old mistakes.
Hence learn to maintain peace by accepting corrections when necessary.
11. Don’t let in a third party.
According to a marriage therapist, she says letting out your marriage problems to a third party isn’t the best way to restore peace in your marriage if you want to fix your marriage after telling lies.
When you have tried all you can to sort it out as a couple, and it seems you’re not getting positive results, you should then meet a professional marriage coach who can help you in fixing your marriage.
However, don’t involve everyone in your marriage problem, or else you may end up getting the wrong advice which can further destroy your marriage, so to avoid that learn to stay away from friends and social media for your marital advice to help you get back your peaceful home.
12. Work it out as a couple.
There is no relationship or marriage that couples cannot fix provided they’ve agreed to fix it.
You both can put more effort into fixing your marriage back to normal after lies, only when you work together as one to forgive and love again.
As couples, don’t give in a chance that may trigger more problems.
The work of the enemy is to ruin marriages, so never give him chance to carry out this ugly plan on your marriage.
There is no situation that couples can not handle when they let love lead them.
Remember the good moments you people spent together, the assistance you render to each other, and that spark of love that made you fall in love with them at first, know that no one is perfect and accept them back with good faith believing they have changed for good
Comfort each other and rebuild your dedication to your spouse and help your marriage be a happy dwelling place as you crave.
And by so doing, you’ll see your marriage get fixed as soon as possible.
A broken marriage caused by lies can be fixed only by the agreement of both couples.
Though lies can lead to hate, anger, and lack of trust, you’ve to forgive your partner in time If you’re the one offended.
Keep in mind that we all make mistakes, hence, remember the fun memories you both have shared.
It’s not going to be so easy but thankfully, you’re able to read and understood how to fix a marriage after lies, now go ahead utilizing the tips above to help you renew peace and happiness back in your marriage, and this time, make sure to be truthful and faithful to enjoy that blissful home you always wanted.