How to Fix Your Marriage Without Counseling – There is no marriage without pitfalls. The most important thing is to know how to get rid of it.
When we let the pitfalls in our marriage increase more without finding a way(s) to handle it, it seems as if the brokenness can’t be fixed. It can.
This shouldn’t be left to the wife or the husband. Everyone’s hand should be on deck. The efforts of everyone are required.
Every marriage could be fixed if each couple is inclined to subsidize energy and time crucial to fix the brokenness.
As long as you and your spouse agree to work together, no reason is left to obstruct the improvement of your marriage without professional assistance.
Can I fix my marriage without visiting a counselor?
Yes, you don’t need to visit a counselor before your marriage could be fixed.
If you want to fix your marriage without counseling, then this article is for you.
It will expose you to the principles to follow to fix your marriage without counseling.
Marriage is an institution that requires the effort and the responsibilities of both couples to make it beautiful and peaceful.
Below are the twelve principles to follow to fix your marriage without counseling:
- Invite God in your marriage.
- Identify the actual problem.
- Admit your faults.
- Be apologetic.
- Avoid the third party.
- Recall good memories.
- Don’t compare.
- Read relationship books together.
- Go on a marriage retreat.
- Be submissive.
- Show more care.
- Denounce divorce.
1. Invite God in your marriage.
Marriage is biblical which implies that God should be invited in our marriages. Make God the super head of the family.
God is ever ready to dwell permanently in our marriage if only we invite Him.
Make Him the first and last of your marriage.
If you want to fix your marriage without counseling make God the Father of your marriage; always pray and commit the brokenness of the marriage to Him. Either both couples or single-handedly.
Not only that, study the word of God together. Commune with Him.
Create awareness to them that your marriage is worthless without His grace and companionship.
He is always available. By doing so, you will see the pitfalls of your marriage decreasing to nothing.
Satan isn’t always happy when he finds a peaceful home. He will surely trigger issues or problems in the marriage to destroy it.
So inviting God into the family keeps the devil aware that He is there. And he will be left with no choice but to disappear.
2. Identify the problem.
Nothing can be done if the problem hasn’t been identified. Once the problems are understood then you can execute plans on how to fix them.
How can you identify the problem?
Study each other very well. This is why the specialties in this encourage courtship; so that you study your would-be-spouse before getting married.
Find out the reason for the change of attitude.
You can give answers to these questions:
- My husband doesn’t sleep outside, why now?
- Why has he been refusing my meal?
- He just shouted at me. Why?
- My wife isn’t that aggressive. What could be the cause?
- She stopped kissing me after welcoming me. Did I offend her?
Once the answers to these questions are answered. The method to get it solved won’t be a problem.
If you identify the problem don’t keep it private. Say it out.
3. Admit your faults.
This is one of the reasons for broken marriages. No one wants to admit his faults. Everyone believes he or she is right.
No one is perfect.
No one is beyond mistakes, that’s why pencils have erasers.
The person that produced that eraser knows that there is no way someone can draw without making a mistake(s).
As a person who wants to fix his or her marriage, admit your faults.
Whenever you are faulty at any period, never let your position in the family make you forget that you are at fault.
You can be the head of the family or the breadwinner of the family, being able to accept your wrong attitude will go a long way to fixing your marriage.
After accepting your fault, then you now follow the next principle.
4. Be apologetic.
An apology is a vital tool that should be used subsequently in marriage.
Most marriages have broken beyond repair because of this.
A man will offend his wife without apologizing or the other way round.
I’m sorry, it shouldn’t be taken as a big deal in the marriage.
A husband will calm his wife on the phone to remind her that he will be coming home with his friends so that she can prepare yummy food for his friends.
The wife will keep deaf ears to what her husband told her. She might be watching television or fixing her nails regardless of what her husband told her.
Hours later, the husband retired home with friends only to find out that his wife didn’t prepare any meal.
Angrily, to avoid disgracing his wife amid friends, he decides to go out with his friends.
Once he gets back, as the wife, try to be apologetic. Don’t show that you are wise or that you can defend yourself.
The way you present your apology can make his furious anger vanish.
Immediately, you are forgiven, learn not to repeat the same.
5. Avoid third parties.
When I say the third party, I mean anyone who doesn’t want the success of the marriage.
Keep the secret of your family to yourself.
Don’t share it like testimony.
Keeping third parties destroys marriage.
Remember that there are many whose plan is to destroy your marriage. So when you discuss the problem with them, you have given them the impetus to strike.
I didn’t say you shouldn’t tell anyone. No.
But be very careful. No marriage is perfect. You just need to handle misunderstandings and be able to fix them.
6. Recall the good memories.
Marriage isn’t a spontaneous institution.
You took the time to know each other. Remember the good times you people have spent together. The care, the vows, the trust, the vacations, the assistance, the love, etc.
You could ask yourself these questions:
- Who would have seen me through school if I didn’t meet him?
- Who will show me so much care if I leave him now?
- Who will always be with me to pet and love me unconditionally?
- Is there anyone who can spoil me like him?
- What do I stand to gain?
Once you answer these questions, you will find out that the marriage is already fixing itself unbeknownst to you.
It helps to remind yourself of all the good times you and your spouse have heard together. No matter how bad you feel about each other, shake yourself out of that by striding back and recalling the good times and the love you have for each other.
7. Don’t compare.
No matter how lovely and fabulous your previous relationship was before you got into marriage; never compare.
Your husband isn’t your ex-boyfriend, nor your wife or your ex-girlfriend.
Since you people didn’t end up together, forget her.
So many marriages have been ruined because the couples are still madly in love with their ex.
Family pressure or financial capacity might lead to marriage.
No matter the reason, do not compare.
Comparison brings neglect and disrespect.
For instance, you dated a lady who was good at bedmates. Something triggered, you people didn’t end up together.
Later on, you fell in love with a virgin and got married to her.
Don’t always remind her that you were very good in bed. How do you wish you could reconcile with her?
This is not going to spice up your marriage but destroy it.
No matter how good the person was, it dies the moment you are married.
You might not forget the person but never compare. It diminishes love and self-respect.
8. Read relationship books together.
To fix your marriage without counseling, create time to read relationship books together.
You can find inspirational books online or in the manual.
Read as many as possible and put them into practice.
Don’t be too busy with each other.
Make out time.
The more you read books, the more the issues of your marriage and how to fix them are reviewed.
You can share it chapter by chapter or any method which might work well.
9. Go on a marriage retreat.
Marriage retreat should not be taken for granted. It explores the bond between each other. It brings memories of how they met and how lovely they felt.
It also triggers the affection the couple has for each other.
Once in a while, sir, take your woman out. Remind her of how much you love her. How loving she has made you feel.
How beautiful and blessed your life has been with her.
In the same way, wife, take your husband out. Men need to be spoiled too. Take him out.
Go for marriage seminars together.
Go for vacations together.
Spend quality time together.
Work is never an excuse. Never allow work to take much of your attention towards your spouse. The endpoint isn’t healthy.
Sit down in a cool place with your spouse and try to kindly discuss the main issue. Choose an efficient time that is more comfortable for each other and try to coat green the way forward to fix the problems.
Have a heart-to-heart discussion.
There might be issues like financial problems or conflicting schedules that lead to a lack of spending quality time together.
Or there are trust issues or changes in behavior after marriage.
This is where you discuss all these and take drastic measures to work together and fix the problems.
10. Be submissive.
The Bible has made it so clear by saying “Husbands love your wives” and “wives, be submissive to your husbands.
After my intensive analysis, I was able to discover that many wives no longer submit to their husbands simply because they are the breadwinner of the marriage.
They help in the payment of the house rent or the fees of her children. This prompts her not to submit to her husband.
This is a negative attitude and it doesn’t help.
Husbands love their wives and don’t push them to anger.
11. Show more care.
Any union without care doesn’t stand. Immediately you find out that the marriage is facing problems, show more care.
Make your spouse know that you are important to have him or her.
Inquire more about him or her. Treat each other like kings and queens. Caring isn’t for only the wives, husbands should also be cared for.
Cook for her, serve him breakfast in bed. Ask each other the problems he or she is encountering in the business. Take each other seriously. Eat together. Play together. Make love when necessary. Have a sordid affair with each other.
All these help in fixing your marriage without the appearance of a counselor.
12. Denounce divorce.
Any spouse who has already concluded how to divorce her husband or wife will not agree to participate in anything that would get the marriage fixed.
All he or she will be praying for is the breakdown of the marriage.
There is no benefit in divorce.
Any unfixed marital problem tends to trigger again.
So to fix your marriage without counseling, denounce divorce.
A divorce is a devilish tool that should not be implemented for any slight reason.
Stay and fix your marriage. No marriage is heaven on earth. The one you are admiring, if they tell you what they have passed through, you won’t believe it.
Keep your marriage protected and say no to divorce.
Marriage is a beautiful thing made for prepared people.
Before you get married, you must be able to tolerate the excesses of your spouse.
The sweetness of every marriage depends on how much effort, understanding, responsibilities, trust, love, and to care the couple has sacrificed in it.
You can fix your marriage without visiting a counselor.
Put hands together and make your marriage beautiful.
Let your marriage remain peaceful.
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