They say love is a beautiful thing. Well, most people start doubting that after they are married. I mean you get to wake up next to this person for the rest of your life, get to tolerate them every time, and every other compromise that comes with marriage. OH! Did I forget to add the fights? It’s scary I tell you but it hasn’t made love or marriage less interesting if you learn to handle it well but how do you have a solution if you don’t know the problems to expect?
In the light of this, I have listed twenty-five major problems in marriages for you below. So read carefully. It would help you know what you are about getting into and help you to be better prepared to handle them and make the best out of it but if you are married already, they will help you understand that your story isn’t unique or the worst. These problems could be managed to your advantage with the right counsel.
Common marriage problems faced by married couples
1. Values and beliefs
You may have or still be ignoring this during courtship but if you don’t sort this out while dating, it is surely going to boomerang later in full force.
Since no two persons were raised the same, there is a lot of room for debate and conflict within the relationship. These conflicts are normally based on different places of worship, the number of kids desired, belief systems, morals, and goals.
2. Life-changing traumatic events
People handle different situations differently. Now imagine the love of your life suddenly had an accident and suddenly became a cripple. No more early morning jugs, stepping into the red carpet occasion in grand style. You may not know or understand how to function without the other due to them being in the hospital or on bed rest. You see yourself doing around-the-clock care and your spouse, solely dependent on you. Sometimes, the pressure becomes overwhelming and the responsibility, too much to deal with, so the relationship spirals downward until it comes to a complete end.
While jealousy is necessary for a relationship to prove how much you care about your spouse, having an overly jealous partner can become toxic and unbearable over time and this will eventually end such a relationship.
SEE ALSO: 22 Key Secrets To A Successful Marriage
4. New beginnings
Not everyone is a fan of new beginnings and if you think you can just wake up one morning and change someone, you may be lying to yourself. You can only change someone who wants to be changed.
5. Lack of communication
This has got to be the worst problem in every aspect of life. Communication entails a lot. Even if you have known someone for a long time, a slight change in the flow of expression or any other form of body language can be perceived incorrectly.
Men and women communicate very differently and can fall into an inhabitant of improper communication, and if such relationship issues are allowed to fester in a marriage, then the sanctity of marriage is definitely at stake. Healthy communication is the foundation for success in marriage.
6. Financial issues
You and I both know that love without money is a major issue in most relationships. I mean all about those picnics, Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, child dedication ceremony, food, it is a long list. Do you think you can do all that without money?
As a result, It is important to openly discuss any financial issues together as a couple.
7. Social media platforms and modern gadgets
Our newly found obsession with technology and social media platforms has deterred us from healthy face-to-face communication. We are losing ourselves in a virtual world and forgetting to love other people and things around us. This is a new and fast fast-rising on marriage problem.
8. Insecurity resulting from trust issues
Now, this common marriage trouble can rot your marriage from the inside, leaving no chance of restoring your relationship. Being paranoid in marriage isn’t the way out.
9. Domestic violence
This is sadly sad order of the day in most marriages.If anger is an issue you struggle with consiconsideringing with a counselor to learn coping skills to help keep anger at bay so that it doesn’t affect your relationship.
Even liars, hate it when someone lies to them. No one enjoys it. Couples might lie to each other about the difficulties or problems they might be facing at work or in other social environments, such marriage problems burden a relationship, and when things get out of hand, it can very much wreck a marriage.
11. Lack of gratitude
A lack of gratitude, recognition, and acknowledgment of your partner’s contribution to your relationship is a common marriage problem. An inability to appreciate your partner can lead to a failed marriage.
They say monotony kills interest. Yes, they were right. It really What if you start losing that initial spark? A spark usually consists of doing spontaneous things from time to time. If a relationship lacks spontaneous activities, there is a good chance boredom will become a problem.
13. Physical intimacy
This particular issue paves way for more marriage problems. In some cases, sexual problems can be due to the sexual preferences of a spouse. One person in the relationship may prefer different sexual things than the other spouse which can make the other spouse extremely uncomfortable.
14. Busy schedules
While busy schedules don’t automatically lead to marriage problems, they do present a challenge that needs to be worked through. Being too busy for your spouse can arouse suspicions and the final divorce.
15. Failed expectations
When one person’s expectations of another contradict each other, like frequency of sex, division of labor, having a child versus not, or even something as simple as being late; it builds up resentment which can cause relationship damage because they create a wedge between the couple, which leads to distance and contempt.
16. Constant criticism
Because the truth is bitter, it should be presented with tact. A criCriticismn attack on the character and doing this constantly without appreciation first can put your marriage on the line.
17. Insensitivity about wrongdoings
A major marriage mistake is when someone does something reckless, threatening, or destructive, and then expects the other person to just get over it. The truth is that sometimes a partner just can’t ‘get over it’ and it’s unrealistic to expect that. Instead, look for ways to openly discuss it calmly.
Having a skeleton in your cupboard is definitely out of place in marriages. Secrets keep from developing the trust or intimacy of a good marriage. The solution remainsopen-mindedness and honesty towards your partner. Take responsibility for your feelings and actions and ask for understanding from your spouse.
19. Lack of a listening ear
Do you listen to respond or to understand? If you are in the former camp, it’s safe to retreat.Listening to yourself is not actual listening, so misunderstanding and conflict are more likely to occur. On the other hand, listening to understand is more than intellectual.
20. A wrong perception about marriage.
Reality hits different when you realize that marriage is not a bed of roses and the love in movies ends in the movies.
21. Change of focus
Another common issue couples face is a shift in focus after marriage. When either spouse redirects their attention from the relationship to other interests — be it a career, children, friends, or other social activities or hobbies — it’s common for their partner to feel the distance, and for the relationship to suffer from a loss of attention.
Nobody likes a selfish person, even the selfish one doesn’t. If one spouse is selfish and consistently places their own needs and desires ahead of their spouse’s, then it’ll only be a matter of time until the neglected spouse feels unworthy and unloved. Subsequently, they may decide to find solace elsewhere and the marriage would fail woefully.
23. Children and Parenting Differences
In as much as children are gifts from God, it comes with its upside and downside, like everything else in the world. Children can be stressed! The crying/sleepless babies, temper tantrums, and rebellious teenagers are not a lot of fun sometimes, regardless of how much you love your kids! Wecan admit that this causes a lot of stress to a couple. Being responsible for a full-grown human being is not an easy task.
24. Different Love Languages
According to the book, “The Five Love Languages” byDr. Gary Chapman. There are five different ways people give and receive love (acts of service, touch, time, giving of gifts, words of affirmation). If you both speak very different love languages, you might not feel loved by your partner, which may lead to marriage problems.
For instance, if you want to be given gifts to feel loved but instead your partner would rather do acts of service for you—like fixing your car or rubbing your feet—then you might not understand that they do love you.
25. Power Inequity
There is always that one spouse with more decision-making power. Power can come in many forms—from financial power to parenting power. If one spouse makes more money than the other (or perhaps one is a stay-at-home parent), that creates an imbalance when it comes to who brings in the money. And this imbalance is a common marriage problem.
In conclusion, there is no true manual for a successful marriage. Do what works for you and most importantly, make sure you do it together. No man is an island.