Can Facebook damage relationships? You might ask, no it didn’t damage mine, it saved me from a relationship here’s my story:
At the incipiency, I didn’t meet her on Facebook but Facebook ended the relationship.
Very unfortunate…
Three years ago, I fell in love with this young girl I met at the coffee café where she came to learn how to make coffee and work as the staff thereafter. I was then working as a coffee sales manager at the coffee shop near me.
She had this pretty look on her face and her stature was something I always wish to see in a girl. Her voice was so angelic and her fragrance alluring, with a mere look on her, I quickly guessed she was in her early twenties. And I was right.
How do I walk up to her and tell her how I feel right inside of me, should I do so now or later? I decided not to say a thing (express my feelings) for her but to hold on until she’s almost getting through with her training.
My reasons for the delay in talking to her about friendship was in order to help her stay concentrated as she learns. I thought it’s too early to discuss relationships with her, I have to wait and see the flow of things at my own risk of losing her into the hands other guys or still get her if she’s mine.
Her training with the coffee company lasted for six months it was then I decided to open up to her. It was probably my first time talking to a girl about love, I was first surrounded with the thoughts of how to say love you for the first time, or should I just get ready on how to say I like her and which should come first.
Honestly, I couldn’t figure out which will work out the best in starting a relationship with her, the fear of been rejected was dominant in my mind. So I would possibly put measures to make sure I don’t feel ashamed talking to a girl if the response turned negative.
Luckily for me, she accepted to date me after a discussion with her that lasted for an hour. This shows that there’s a connection between both of us, we have feelings for each other but pretence has been the driver of our past activities. So today we all opened up to face our greatest fear and start a new relationship.
It was the best day I will always remember, it is when the conation of finding love got solved. Regardless of how good or bad things later turned out, I would always remember the first time a girl accepted to date me. It holds a great memory.
We became love birds, everyone feels free to discuss and solve pressing needs together. This was how we nurtured our relationship to grow to an enviable height that we are becoming the talk of the town as a good example of dating. We’re probably the Romeo and Juliet in the neighbourhood.
I always needed her around me and so she does want to see me often and talk with me, most of the times we could spend a bunch of time during the weekend as this is probably a free time for almost everyone. Going to the market, church and cinema together is habitual.
It was a bolt out of the blue finding out this pretty angel was a virgin, this contradicted my earlier hearings about virgins and how hard it is to see a virgin girl at 20 in today’s society. I avouch virgins still exist, grown-up.
Life was gradual and everything moving well being in a relationship with her. So I’m the lucky guy who became her first love and you’re right to point at us as couples convinced by how we care about each other.
A few months later, I got introduced to the family this was during a child dedication ceremony, I was dumbfounded to learn they already know a lot about me. Oh, you already discussed me with your people? That’s fine it made my explanations easier, I said in a soft tone and she smiled.
I had the opportunity to converse with the elder sister who said: “nice match” she complimented and gave us relationship advice anchored on taking each other seriously and the desired commitments deemed as standard for a healthy relationship. I was beginning to feel this great sense of belonging, she introduced me to her family members and none said bad about me?
Letting your family know about your date isn’t usually a successful event in my country, you wouldn’t want to make an attempt in doing so either. In my country (Nigeria) most parents reprimand their kids from getting into a relationship they most times could lie to their children about falling in love and wouldn’t want to see them often with the opposite sex.
Luckily for us, we both got admission to further our studies in the tertiary institution but something unfortunate was that we were offered admission into separate schools. She had to live in a hostel while I reside somewhere close to my own school.
There was probably nothing to worry about, it was just a shift from a close relationship to a long distance relationship. I always believed everything will still work out the way it has always been. So I didn’t think otherwise and I was right my instinct convinced me to believe long-distance relationship still works.
The bond in our relationship was too strong and enjoyable that we put in our possible best to keep the relationship at a good or better state, we meet during the weekend at the shopping mall, at her school or mine since we’re all in the same state, the difference was just in schools and the distance in relationship could be on estimate of 12km. We recognize the importance of effective communication in a long distance relationship and put in our best to make it delightful.
To put my possible best in her studies, and encourage her to take studies seriously was my top priority, I am a lover of education and she has always been a backbone to mine. I would have no reason to miss lectures as this will spike up a problem in our relationship.
The way things fit in place left me sunk in the thinking of where our relationship is headed in the next few years. I was beginning to feel loved every day and I think of marrying my girlfriend. She adds beauty by day, I would want to spend the rest of my life with her, her arms around me keeps me warm and promises me of how great our tomorrow will be.
We could be seen naming our future kids, I would always argue I want my first child to be a boy where she would say hell no! she will give birth to a girl child first, and I would jokingly say but according to my biology teacher, it is the male that determines the gender :).
The semester ended well and we all have communicated over our performances for the semester and have made a good score on our papers. We’re on a holiday and waiting for the next academic session.
The new academic session is here, the holidays lasted for about 3 weeks only. she had to relocate and live off the campus as instructed by her school. At this period she has blended well with the school environment, activities and has made a good number of friends who she studies in a group with.
Her group was close in contact and they are free discussing relationship issues among themselves and can issues relationship advice amongst themselves.
She introduced her friends to me, it was nice getting to know who her friends are, they all looked nice but from their appearances and approaches in our little held conversation, I knew this crew wasn’t right for my girlfriend.
There’s nothing I can say to convince her to break apart from her friends, I can only advise her to be careful about the types of friends she keeps. She had promised me to always be a good girl and the loyal girlfriend I have always known. She’s free keeping me on the loop about her activities in school, hangouts and parties and would listen to me whenever I refuse her honouring an event.
Deplorably she’s beginning to receive recommendations from her friends to have a nearby male friend since I am not too close, so she will have someone to attend to her in case of emergencies. She told me about it and calmed my fears that she will always be a loyal girlfriend to me and will never allow that to happen.
I believed all she said because love couldn’t allow me to think otherwise of all she has said, little or nothing did I know it’s already happening, a romantic relationship with another guy at the same building (a public house)
There’s this impulse that something fishy might be going on between my girlfriend and the other guy who’s claiming to be caring and supportive. I approached her about it, she said it’s just a lodge mate, it’s not a romantic relationship he’s just my bestie. But baby I should be your boyfriend and bestie and not someone else, I was totally not comfortable with my girlfriend been too close to another guy and title it bestie.
I was beginning to feel so insecure but had no proof to break up with her over cheating. During this period I could see my relationship aching, thoughts that my girlfriend cheats on me, couldn’t leave my mind but I only need to know if my girlfriend is cheating on me or not?
Otherwise, she will have it that I’m always suspecting she’s cheating on me. She’s beginning to take it that her boyfriend is too serious and this is unlike that of her friends, she needs freedom, she doesn’t like me been too protective over her maybe this wasn’t a thing I should do. But I would always like to have a girlfriend who wouldn’t allow me to get too close with other girls.
Our relationship was beginning to lack trust since putting a stop to the communication between her and the other guy turns out problematic. I can’t really say how sweet or bitter it is since there’s no trust in the relationship. I was confused but I am just sure things weren’t the way they were at incipiency.
My relationship counsellor, who questioned my looks and character, noticed this relationship is eating me up, I am dying in silence gradually and advised me to break up with her, but this wasn’t anything easy for me for I got bathed in the thinking if I will ever find love elsewhere? I keep on pushing, waiting for a piece of concrete evidence she’s cheating on me and expecting her to change for good if she cheats. She was just a suspect, it’s not yet over until I have proofs.
I have been curious over the months fighting with her over a guy and couldn’t say goodbye because I am yet to find out the truth. Something tangible will be the best way to let her know she was cheating on you and now you know.
The Facebook chat that ended everything about my cheating girlfriend
On a fateful day, she visited me and asked, to login to Facebook using my device, after which she forgot to logout of Facebook on my device. This was how I began to read my girlfriend’s messenger chats without her knowing. My interest was placed only on the chat between the guy and my girlfriend they already customized the facebook chat colour to purple, lovely I guess.
Although tracking my girlfriend’s Facebook messenger or reading her chats on Facebook isn’t deemed normal. I wasn’t supposed to keep my eyes into it, but insecurities led me into being a girlfriend messenger spy.
I began what I call the hard relationship task scrolling their chats, it was cumbersome. Likely my initial thoughts that my girlfriend was cheating on me could be true, the chat was so romantic and shouldn’t come from someone who’s in a relationship. But I need to be sure they were having sex.
Here’s what broke the camel’s back! I scrolled down to a handful of sex chats across every single communication between them on Facebook with a little “have you eaten?” and questions regarding menstrual cycle including what their sexual experiences are, and a sizeable volume of chats badmouthing me. In their chats, I was already her ex-boyfriend but she never told me or broke up with me.
It’s unfortunate I couldn’t put to writing all that happened and how deep it cut my emotions and how disrespected I feel dating a girl I have always loved and provided for with all my heart only for her to break my heart by cheating on me with a stranger, someone she recently met at the lodge.
The memories and advice I received not to date her, and how I insisted because I was drowning in the pool of love thinking I have seen the right person for my heart. I was in dare need of how to get over a cheating girlfriend, can I be able to stop my girlfriend from cheating and will she still love me if she cheated on me?
I showed her the chats and she denied not to do anything of such, she would always say baby please it’s not what you think whenever I expresse sadness over the incidence, she would quickly say but we’re not yet married. Oh my goodness this sucks, I probably could see her believe about dating, it depicts that you can cheat around because you’re not married yet? This was probably her philosophy about dating.
I saw her Facebook messenger chats, a terrible sex chat of a cheating girlfriend, I confronted her about it but she didn’t feel sorry or apologize to me, then I see she’s not sorry for actions. She chose what she thinks is best for her, so I have to let go. It hurts to say goodbye, but there’s nothing I can do than to let go, it’s too late, I have been used, she’s nothing but a cheat and a lier.
It all ended the everyday Facebook helped me find out my girlfriend cheats on me and keep on denying.
Conclusion:
How I wish every guy out there could catch his girlfriend cheating through Facebook, as I did, many problems would have been resolved the easier way.
I tried all I could to save the relationship, all I needed was for her to apologize and amend her ways if she truly loves me, but everything became shitty as hell. It was the worse of all breakup.
It is true that most dating doesn’t usually lead to marriage, but I had always believed mine will lead to marriage, not until I got my surprise.
In addition, the truth can be delayed, but definitely, it must pop its head out at the appropriate time and the victim will be free. If you have a cheating girlfriend or boyfriend, you will one day find out.
Have your partner ever cheated on you, how did you find out, how were you able to handle it and what was the outcome? Share your experiences in the comment section below.
