How to get your best friend to date you is one of the many unanswered questions about dating a friend you’ve known for years but the main question should be are you ready for the boundaries of your connection to ultimately shift when you start a relationship with your best friend? They’re still your closest buddy, but you’ll be romancing them, which is a little scary.
The prospect of being sexual with your best friend can leave you both thinking as if you’re clinging to life by a thread. Dating your bestie, as exciting as it is, isn’t always as straightforward as you may think. After all, you’ve come a long way from your previous status as “just buddies.”
Your relationship will be different than it was before you became emotionally attached. It also necessitates some deliberate consideration about how you’ll make things work as the “will I end up with my best friend” question will keep popping up until answered.
“Everything is going to change.” Expecting it will assist you in developing the adaptability you’ll need to navigate the shift.” It’s critical to remain willing to change so that you can work through this as a couple.
13 tips on how to date your best friend without ruining the friendship
1. Both of you must be on the same page.
When one of you wants something a little more serious than the other, you risk damaged feelings in any loving relationship, but especially with your Bestie.
“is it okay to date your best friend?’ or ‘Are you entering the deep waters of Friends with benefits?’ all these questions and doubts will need to be answered through deliberate communication.
“It will boomerang if one tries to have a casual relationship or friends with benefits while the other is falling in love.” Make sure you’re on the same page, and it’ll help you get through the rough spots.”
2. Feelings should not be rushed.
You’re still discovering your emotions and your way around the relationship during the start of the courtship. You’ve said yes, but you’ll have to get used to the “lover” component taking the place of the “best” in the friend.
The very first step is to develop an intimate attachment between you two that you didn’t have when you were close mates. This will strengthen your base and aid with the transition.
As a result, it’s critical to establish a connection, as sentiments and chemistry alone aren’t enough to sustain a relationship. If you want anything to stick, you must be patient and emotionally understand each other.
3. Do not be haste to feel happy.
Sure, any spouse could make you happy by bringing you flowers or taking you out to a great meal, but it takes time for someone to figure out what makes you truly happy.
As the transition from bestie to lover can be very hard as self-doubts and uncertainties will crawl in now emotions are high. Take time before expecting the feel-good emotion of a relationship.
4. Creating a plan will assist you in adjusting.
When you go from friends to dating transition, your schedules will have to change to accommodate this change. Consider spending less or more time together than you did when you were companions, depending on what feels right for both of you.
“Do you have a regular date night, like Saturday night, or do you spend the whole weekend together?” you need to understand your wants and discuss them well.
You’ll have a better chance of settling into the relationship if you can figure out how much more you like seeing one other sooner rather than later.
5. Keep your expectations in check.
When courting your besties turned girlfriend, you have more expectations than in a conventional relationship. You don’t anticipate them to hurt you since they know you from the inside out.
You must realize that no one is perfect, including your dearest buddy. Even your closest mate, who is now your boyfriend or girlfriend, is sure to make missteps, and not everything will be roses.
Conflicts, pain, miscommunication, and a lot of turmoil are inevitable in any relationship, even one with your best friend. You must approach this connection as if it were any other, and you must manage your expectations a bit. They are, after all, human beings.
6. Your family members will be intrigued.
Everybody in your life is used to seeing you two as friends, so it will take some time for them to adjust to you and your lover being a partner. You won’t have to introduce your girlfriend to your friends and family if they already know who he or she is, but you will have to identify them as your partner.
7. Your best friend is well-versed in your previous relationships.
It can be intimidating to enter a new relationship considering that you’re carrying a high level of emotional weight.
When you’ve been injured previously, it’s difficult to let your feelings be known, and hoping that your new girlfriend would comprehend and ‘just get it’ does not work out.
When you’re seeing your best friend, this isn’t the case. Fortunately, they’re already aware of any emotional issues and can take precautions to avoid repeating the same mistakes as your ex-partners.
8. Your communication skills may need to change
Anticipate needing to converse in a new manner than you always have in the old days. Even if you’re used to discussing sensitive topics, the topics you talk about will shift.
“The easier it is for your spouse to be their best and vice versa, the more you can speak about your needs and desires,” Spira adds. You need to talk about identifying the relationship, physical boundaries, or sexual habits with your lover.
These will all be crucial subjects to address as couples. Instead of avoiding difficult topics because you’re afraid of how the discussion may turn out, consider open dialogue.
9. Be truthful.
Now that you’re dating your closest friend, you don’t have to pretend or hide your actual sentiments from them. Discuss your concerns with your partner in a relationship ethical manner.
The best part about falling in love with your best man friend or being in a relationship with your best girlfriend is that you can express yourself honestly.
You don’t need to hide your actual self from this individual because they already know who you are.
Unlike in any other relationship, where both partners spend the honeymoon period putting their best foot forward and being on their best behavior, you can just be yourself while starting a relationship with your best friend.
10. Make romantic plans.
Movie evenings are fun, but it’s time to take the next step. You’re no longer just buddies. You and your partner need to learn to act as couples do. The trick to being passionate with your closest friend is to create some spark.
Plan a romantic balcony date or a candlelit meal. Although it may be cliche, isn’t dating your best friend also a cliché? These sweet outings will help you grow closer as a couple and make being in a relationship with your best buddy easier.
The romantic activities you conduct as a couple doesn’t always have to be physical or end in sex. Consider these dates as opportunities to strengthen your fledgling relationship’s emotional bond.
11. Pay attention to yourself.
Never put too much pressure on yourself in a relationship. People would sometimes try to be harsh on themselves to please their closest friend, who is now their spouse since they do not want to lose them. They begin to give too much of themselves to maintain the relationship. When starting a relationship with your best friend know when to draw the lines.
12. Be aware of the stakes.
It’s important to keep in mind that you’re dating your best buddy. You know how difficult it is to lose your best buddy due to a blunder. If any of you makes a mistake, you’ll lose your best friend as well as your partner.
That means you’ll be coping with twice the sadness and the agony of losing one of your most essential people.
Being in a relationship with your best friend entails jeopardizing your most steadfast bond.
You can’t just go return to being close mates if things don’t work out sexually between you two. Your connection will be harmed by the anxiety and discomfort of a failed relationship. This is something to keep in sight at all times.
13. If you don’t want to be friends with benefits, don’t do it.
Best friends frequently experience this flood of emotions and become sex buddies. The guilt deceives them into believing it’s love, and before you know it, you’re both engaged.
Guilt or chemistry has nothing to do with commitment. It’s the outcome of love and knowing that the person is the one to whom you want to devote your life. Put a red flag there if you’re not sure.
Sleeping with your best friend, even casually, can be a dangerous slope. What if one of you develops feelings for the other that are more than platonic? What if you want to date your best friend’s sister? There are numerous ways in which this setup could go wrong.
So, if you have a best friend, it’s preferable to avoid the temptation of being tactile with them.